Erectile dysfunction

Hithisisjustgreat welcome to the forum. 

Sex and intimacy are often casualties of Cancer and the treatments sadly, but it does sound like your poor husband is trying all that he can to get back to the man that he was but he may not be able to get that back fully. I hope that you don't mind me saying but there doesn't sound like much compromise, so I'm not sure how this all ends up for you both but I do hope that you manage to work it out and you both get a good outcome for you either by yourselves as a couple  or on your own.

How is your husband feeling about it all? I imagine this will be as difficult and challenging for him as it is for you.

Best wishes for now.

Hi Gail! 

thanks so much for your reply - yes you’re so right - it’s utterly awful for him too  

Thanks a lot for offering a space to offload and the support. 

Hello

as Granny59 quite correctly says, sex and intimacy are often casualties of cancer. For several years before my Linda passed, we had virtually no physical contact, even a gentle cuddle caused her pain. For the last two years we couldn’t sleep together, because again it hurt her every time I moved. Yes I felt cheated, but it wasn’t her fault, but didn’t stop the frustration I felt. The needs and feelings don’t just disappear because your partner is unable. Before cancer, we enjoyed a healthy intimate life together. The most we could manage for the last few years was holding hands, and even that hurt her hands sometimes, it greatly upset her too, she didn’t want to be that way.

Now I just sit in my armchair watching Netflix as the world and time continue their journey

This is so very sad and my heart breaks for you. I wonder if the intensity of desire softens with age - I suppose it must, and I am in the eye of the storm with regards to my needs. 

I thought it did, but it doesn’t, I guess, it’s not age biut opportunity that lessens the desire 

sent a friend request if you want to chat

Hi 

I’m new to this website. But needed to share my thoughts and fears too. My husband has prostate cancer. He has his surgery tomorrow. We have been together 41 years and married for 38. We have a great sex life and I greatly fear we are about to lose it. A lot of the issues you are experiencing I am afraid we are about to face. And we are both terrified! 
I’m lying awake at silly am o’clock worrying about his surgery. His recovery period , he’s a bad impatient patient, how much I can cope with. Like you I’m on HRT and am experiencing the menopause and all that throws my way. I’m also worrying about the loss of a massive part of our relationship… 

Hi I've just joined this forum.my partner of over 40years has prostate cancer...we now have been told the cancer has spread outside the prostate and into the nerves.the surgeon says he will be unable to have an etection and may have incontinence. I nearly lost him 3 years ago with a cranial bleed and I don't know where to turn. it's as if I am losing him all over again .I am trying to keep strong for him but sometimes can't...I am hoping off loading on here might help x

I feel the same its not my partner of over 40 years any more

In my experience there are plenty of ways your husband can help you have orgasms without having penetrative sex. Perhaps you could have fun together googling them. Wishing you all the best on the difficult journey you facing.

My husband has been on hormone therapy since April and to be told it would be like the menopause was an underestimate, we have been on holiday and nothing is the same, he's just started RT and now is tired and short tempered and we have 4 weeks of this now along with keeping everything together I just get angry all the time