Hi, my husband is 42 and we have 2 children. He’s just recently been diagnosed with incurable renal cell carcinoma. The only reason we found it was because it caused his verterbrae to collapse. He’s had 2 major ops, to secure the spine and is a week into his recovery. We then have the first oncology appointment to discuss treatment a week Monday.
Is anyone else going through this with young children? It’s so hard. I have friends helping but don’t have family help and I don’t have the best health myself (I have Crohn’s and other issues). I’m so scared of what the future holds (mainly for the kids)
Hi NoriJori
When we started out our journey that eventually took us to a cancer diagnosis our son was 6. Plenty of diversions on the route to diagnosis - feel a bit for your husband as I have ankylosing spondylitis so my mobility is not what I might like.
When Janice's cancer was, finally, diagnosed - incurable Leiomyosarcoma in some ways it felt a bit like a relief, we finally had a name and felt we knew what next. Janice had two different type of chemotherapy and I think even our oncologist was surprised that the cancer has been rendered stable - no evidence of progression now for the last six years.
At one point we asked our son if he was ok with everything that is going on. His response was "not really" and he asked what would happen to him if I was to die too - fortunately Janice's brother had adopted a child and they agreed to be his guardians and that helped to reassure him. Now in a spirit of what goes around comes around his cousin has said that we will look out for Michael too if anything happens to us.
You are right it is hard, sharing on here can help. People will sometimes say to us "how do you cope?" the most simple answer we give is "did we have a choice?".
<<hugs>>
Steve
