My husband has lung cancer and I feel lost and alone

Hi Shelley, sorry you find yourself in this situation. Its where I found myself last August for the same reason so I feel your fear and anxiety. I can only reassure you that it starts to feel much easier when you have a treatment plan in place and the oncologist can give you all the information. Try not to Google as the information is outdated. Lung cancer treatment has improved massively over the last couple of years and fingers crossed, for some is completely curable. There are some great success stories with chemo and immunotherapy. Just hold on for the biopsy results and it will become much clearer. Wishing you the best of luck, and sending you strength xx

Oh thank you so much. It really helps to hear from someone who’s been in this situation. It’s such a lonely place, when your partner has cancer. I feel helpless to him. Beyond making sure he eats very well, there is nothing I can do. Hoping he gets his biopsy soon so things can move closer to starting treatment. I think once he starts treatment I’ll feel better. Again, thank you so much for responding, I truly appreciate it ️x

My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer last year but unfortunately it had already spread. We waited nearly 12 weeks for the biopsy results but that was so they could make sure they got the right treatment for the cancer he has. It’s a really tough time waiting but try not to panic, everyone will be doing everything they can to get the right treatment for your husband. 
I have no family nearby and lost my dad in April so completely relate to how alone it can make you feel. Talk to your friends and share how you’re feeling because trying to deal with it on your own is very hard. 
i hope you hear soon and things start to move quickly xx 

I'm sorry you're going through that. You must feel so isolated, especially having lost your dad recently.

I do talk to my friends but if you aren't going through it, or haven't been through it, it's hard for anyone to understand. I just hope that by the time they get him the biopsy, the cancer won't have spread. I have no idea how fast cancer spreads of course, but I'm really hoping it's not a matter of a couple of months. It's just all so anxiety-inducing. Like this incredible weight you carry around every second of every day. Thank you for your reassuring message. I am grateful for you replying, I really am x

You’re right it is hard for others to understand what you’re dealing with. Other places that have helped me is the Macmillan helpline or if you have a cancer centre such as Maggies near you. They support the family as well as the person with cancer. I’ve only discovered this carers page recently and it’s a huge support knowing you’re not alone. 
Don’t be afraid to call and chase the biopsy up as you shouldn’t have to wait a long time. I hope you hear soon xx 

Hi Shelley I really identify with you as I live in Spain and my mum and dad died five years ago so having a husband with colon cancer which spread to the peritoneal area means we cope alone together and he can get quite nad temppered sometimes. His last biopsy also took rwo weeks. A friend who works in the business told me it’s because to get an accurate result they need to do contrast dyes of different sections to get the best result so don’t despair about the wait. The better the picture they have the better the treatment will be. Sending you hugs

This is some really tough going.  All your feelings are normal, there is no right or wrong.  Be kind to yourself.  Your husband will deal with it in his way and hard as it can be you have to let them 'be'.  I am looking after mum who has Stage 4 breast cancer.  Lately she's been demanding and grumpy all the time with no patience whatsoever.  I feel like snapping back but how can I?  She won't talk about what's coming and I find that really really difficult but I have to respect it.  I pray that there is positive news (weirdly I find that difficult too as the world just seems to spin again), there will be love and life to get on with along the way.  Thinking of you 

i took your advice and chased them up regarding the date of the biopsy, and it turns out he's getting it this week, on Friday, so I'm thankful things are moving now. xx

Yes I totally relate to what you're going through with you mum and her not wanting to know what's coming. That must be so hard on you. My mum had lung cancer 15 years ago and I was in simular situation. as you, she just didn't want to know anything. There is no doubt it's immense on weight on you and I truly hope the outcome is positive.

My husband doesn't want to know any details either, such as what the treatment involves, what stage his cancer is at, side effects of treatment - he just wants to know that he'll get something done and then the cancer will be gone. But it's not that easy so one of us needs to have proper knowledge and understanding and that has to be me. I'm trying to understand what the treatment will be and the side effects, how do I make sure he eats the right foods, what even are the right foods, what exercise should he be doing, how to minimise side effects. So every night I am reading about cancer and basically my whole life is cancer. I want to keep him shielded as much as possible as that keeps him positive and happy, but oh my goodness the weight of all the depressing knowledge is abundant. 

I'm so sorry you are isolated and alone in dealing with this. That must be so hard on you. And I completely understand what you are saying about your husband having a temper at times, and you feel you can't respond in a way you might normally, which in itself can cause a lot of stress for you. It's natural to call out our husbands when they aren't being kind, but you feel you can't now because they are sick, but that does add stress onto you as you're not expressing your feelings. The best we can all hope for is that our loved ones get some glimmer of hope and that cancer won't win. x