Last year my daughter was diagnosed with 2 tumors in left breast and 1 under eye. As she lives alone and doesn’t drive I moved in with her and was there from June to end of January this year doing not only all household tasks but driving to hospital appointments, round trips of 50 miles, driving to local hospital for day surgery, acting as nurse especially when breast & lymph node scars became infected, changing dressings, driving to see Macmillan nurses, doctors surgery etc, for 5 very long weeks until the infections were eliminated. Then another round of very long round trips every day for a week of intensive radiotherapy sessions. Once they were over it was back to driving her to 1 hospital for operation to remove facial tumor, then driving across city to another hospital for plastic surgery to repair damage done to face and then home all on same day. Luckily no infection that time. She then started tamoxifen, reacted badly to 2 different makes which caused severe depression, 3rd type suited her but now cannot be obtained so on yet another make which again is causing depression and difficulty in concentration. I have now been able to return home for a few weeks at a time, returning frequently to be with her, driving to appointments, doing housework, cooking and shopping etc. Unfortunately I am now struggling to cope, feeling very angry that she had to go through this experience, worried what the future holds for her, how she would manage if the cancer returns as I am 75 and not sure if I would be physically able to cope. Whilst she had excellent medical service from NHS, Macmillan nurses and councilors, friends and workmates I felt very isolated being 120 miles from home with no one to talk to or have a shoulder to cry on and feel very down with no energy and finding socializing difficult after spending so much time isolating and also guilty for being like this. Can anyone please tell me if this is normal and will it go away and when, and how do I cope in the meantime with, not only her depression which, whilst she hides from her friends, takes out on me, but also my own feelings.
Hi Pennybelle welcome to the forum and I am so sorry to hear about what has been happening for you and your daughter.
I wonder if it might help to have a chat with someone like the lovely folks at the Macmillan Line as they also have a what's called a buddy system and that may be of help for you as well. You could do with someone to sound of to and for someone just to listen and be there for you and Macmillan has that in their Advisors so think about giving them a call. 08088080000.
Sending some hugs your way meantime. xxx
gail
