Wanted to Reach Out

My husband was last year diagnosed with Stage 4 Gastric Cancer which is inoperable. We are heartbroken. We were told he had 24 months depending how palliative chemotherapy goes. I'm just finding this tough...more and more. I'm working full time and caring for my husband and our little boy who is 8. He knows his daddy has a poorly tummy and is having medicine but nothing more not the C word. Im just scared of the future watching my husband being so poorly and our whole lives changing. Most of all the thought of how heartbroken our little boy will be. I'm so tired and trying to act normal for our boy is exhausting when I just want to curl up and cry. My husband said he's scared of the end - how he will be. My father and his mother both passed away with lung cancer. My work have been fantastic and supportive and going to work really helps me I forget the bad for times when I'm there. But going home I'm heartbroken. The chemotherapy has been so tough in my husband he's lost nearly 7 stone now. This weigh has come off over 12 months. It's so hard when he can't eat a thing. He was the chef of the house loved cooking still tries when he can. He's on treatment 7 next week of the 8. We were told just after half way things were stable. 

  • I’m so sorry to read what you’re going through and can hear how hard it is on you at the moment. I can’t imagine how difficult it is trying to remain normal in front of your son and completely understand why you don’t want to upset him. 
    Have you spoken to anyone for support for you and your son? I’m sure Macmillan would be able to be able to offer support and advise. I have a cancer centre near me who offer the same help for the family as well as anyone diagnosed with cancer. 
    many husband has stage 4 lung cancer and has just switched to intravenous chemo (he was taking oral chemo for 6 months)  and immuno and can see the toll it’s taking already. I completely hear what you say about being scared about the future, I’m scared all the time at the moment. We’ve managed to have a week away which should be a time of making the most of being together but I just feel overwhelming sad. 
    If you can find some support or someone to talk to I’m sure it would be a help xx 

    Lucy x 
  • Thanks Lucy, I feel a weight has been lifted a little just speaking out I just felt it was the right time as I'd been struggling for a few weeks feeling overwhelmed. So many people has said to get support but I think I just wanted to try and cope. My husband is very private and at the moment he will not speak to anyone. Generally we can talk together he tries to reassure me you will be fine etc but I say I don't want this life I will have without you and remind him how much he means to us and his friends. It's so good to hear you and your husband managed time away. It's sounds like you have both been through so much also. Its such a cruel illness and effects not just us but everyone around us friends, even the neighbours from up the street. X