Just starting on this journey

Hi all, 

My wife was diagnosed with Entromedial Cancer two weeks ago. We don't know as yet what stage or class of cancer it is as uet. I am coping, but with everything unknown, you just keep churning your thoughts to the worst scenarios and its scary. She is a very upbeat person and never asks for anything, but when she does, I know its serious. Taking her to the doctor and the various examinations and tests she has already had to come to this diagnosis, my anxiety levels are quite high. We have a hysterectomy booked for the end of the month and a follow up appointment with the consultant for about a week later. Hopefully, we will know more of the prognosis then. Its just the uncertainty that gnaws at me.

I hope to gain a little insight and space to breath in sharing my thoughts here.

Thank you for reading. 

  • Hi and welcome to our community, though we always hope to see nobody need us I for one am very grateful for when I found us.

    I get what you mean about never asking for things - I know my wife is real bad when she wants to go to the hospital - and we have visited quite a lot. Generally it is not too long before she wants to escape again though.

    My wife's hysterectomy was done as an emergency and was more complicated but having been on the gynae ward for a while it is quite a significant operation.

    Janice never wanted a prognosis and I really struggled with that. One issue of course is that everyone is different and while the doctors can tell how many people who were treated say 5 years ago are still alive that is not a very useful statistic. With my wife's cancer - Leiomyosarcoma - it would probably have even been less useful still and I don't think anyone would have suggested that 6 years later she would be in really quite good health.

    I ended up doing a living with less stress course and it really helped me - a key element was living in the here and now, I could imagine things a lot worse that actually happened. A key quote that sometimes helps me on that is “Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace.”. Another useful technique was conscious breathing - great for when the unexpected happens but also quite useful for getting some sleep when those troubling thoughts will not go away.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thanks, Steve,

    Today is her hysterectomy, the hospital is an hour away and I was just in shock and numb coming after leaving her there. I wanted to say goodbye to her properly, but it was a "Say goodbye, and we'll take you to your room" very cold and unfeeling, which left me having to sit down in the waiting room for about 15 minutes before I was feeling able enough to go home and leave her there. Luckily I had insisted on her taking her phone which she never uses and by the time I got back, she had left me a message. That helped an awful lot, she is in surgery now and I'm feeling a bit lost tbh.

    Trying to do household chores to keep busy until I hear from them. Nerve-wracking. From what she said it looks like stage 2 cancer, but we will know more after her lymph nodes have been examined and we have our follow-up appointment next week.

    I just want to let everyone know that being able to share this here is a lifeline. I haven't told my family and friends yet. Only my boss knows as I have to take time off for all the appointments etc. Without being able to talk about it here, I would probably lose it. As it is I have the start of tears in my eyes.

    Thank you all for listening.