Hello. My husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer a year ago and we were informed it had spread to his bones in November 2021. He is receiving immunotherapy every three weeks. I am his sole carer. Over the last few days I feel as if I've hit an invisible wall, emotionally, mentally and physically. I feel terribly lonely a lot of the time as he spends a lot of time in bed and is quite depressed himself. When he's engaging with me the old person sometimes returns and we can still laugh. I feel very anxious and have just upped my medication slightly. I guess what I'm feeling is not unusual but I don't want to moan to my friends and work colleagues all the time. Sometimes I feel as if I just want to run away.
Dear All on this thread
im also caring for my husband at home. He was diagnosed in A & E 10 weeks ago. I’m in shock at how fast he has declined. I feel guilty that I am frightened of his death. He wants to be at home and I want to help him have his wishes but I’m so scared of how this will be. He declines each day and the last ten weeks feel like years. Time seems suspended and yet flying past.
He wants visitors but I don’t want anyone to come over. He thinks he’s coping with visitors but he really isn’t. Then I feel guilty that I resent friends coming over. I’m sick of making drinks and snacks etc etc when I then have to nurse him when they’ve gone.
I feel guilty for thinking and feeling all of this.
I just want things to be calm and quiet.
When people tell me to ‘ look after yourself ‘ I want to punch them. I feel bitter and angry. But I guess this is all normal in a way while we are in these dreadful circumstances.
thanks for this thread everyone
M
