I lost my mum 5 years ago and have been close to dad. He’s been really fit & healthy but I’ve always had to ring him every day etc. since Christmas he began struggling with his breathing but we put it down to his COPD. In March he went in to A&E as he was coughing up blood. Whilst he was there they confirmed he had 2 masses on his lungs, some in his lymph glands and a spot on his kidney.
Because dad didn’t want treatment, they did not do any biopsies or tests so we haven’t had a prognosis. We were led to believe dad didn’t have long and they discharged him to a nursing home with continued healthcare.
Since then dad has been ok and quite independent in the nursing home. A McMillan nurse came to see us and she said dad wasn’t bad and that funding would likely to be pulled! After that. We decided to move dad in with us because he hated the nursing home and didn’t want to go home. We want dad to be comfortable and happy.
But as the weeks have gone in, I’m finding it really hard working from home and tip toeing around dad. I don’t know what I should be doing. It’s hard for my husband who suffers with tiredness & neuropathic pain since a stroke 4 years ago Dad is getting increasingly frustrated and short tempered. He’s getting symptoms but we don’t know if it’s the cancer or other things. We got a gp to come & see us today ….. they hadn’t read his notes and just made the situation worse.
Just because dad doesn’t want treatments, surely we should be under a specialist who can talk to us about the symptoms and the prognosis …… is that right? I feel so out of control. I haven’t a clue what dads got for definite, where it is, how fast it’s growing or spreading, how long he’s got, whether some of the symptoms he is getting are related. Who can help answer all these questions??? Surely they’re should be someone monitoring his condition
Any ideas of what to do next? X
