Struggling with overwhelming anxiety

Have you spoken to your doctor? I have always been a very anxious person, and before my partner's diagnosis it was getting out of hand (as was low mood) so I was prescribed some SSRIs. They don't stop me worrying, but they stop the anxiety running away with itself, if you know what I mean. I'm also keeping a journal which helps me get things out of my head. I do yoga once a week which helps (there are people off all ages in my class, it's a hatha class so more about holding a pose than sweating our folding yourself up into a pretzel)

The GP might also have details of local groups for carers, I know we have a couple around here who have afternoons out.

As you say, we've no choice but to get on with it, but make sure you are being logged after as well.

Hi IFixEverything

I see so much in your post that I think - that is me. Wife with cancer, son with autism - and like most blokes I default to fix it mode. Fix it for me though - not so much. That being strong bit - very easy to write, delivery though - hum.

What I know now - some days just suck - people who have not been there often have no idea, but then I come on here and know that people get that, I do not have to explain, if all else fails I can go to the The Room and just type my frustrations and slam the door on the way out.

I regard crying as the love overflowing from my eyes - but the stories from when we were little - especially as a boy/young man - stiff upper lip - do not show you are weak - well they can go do one frankly.

It looks like you have quite a lot of good tips already - at one point my doctor actually prescribed going for a walk. Music can be a bit of an interesting one - some songs are great, others can really get to me. It took me a long time before I felt comfortable with bagpipe playing after my father died.

One saying I do find quite useful - “Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.” –Randy Armstrong

Thanks for posting as you will have helped people you will never meet and may never be able to take that first step.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thank you for your kind words.  I have been a member of our local carers' group for many years, mainly due to my parent carer role for our son.  Frankly, I don't get a lot from the groups.  Many people come to "caring" for a loved one due to illness, or old age and it is different when you parent a child who is born with chronic, rare medical difficulties that will be there for life. Then along the way, learning difficulties, and autism diagnosis.  So you tend to gravitate towards a similar community if you can find them.  Social media has made a huge difference to families like mine.  There was no such media when my son was born or in his infancy (1980s, 1990s).  I have long since given up joining any activity as I find it really difficult to commit, even once a week.  You can guarantee that either my son or husband will need help with something and I have to shelve my own time out in favour of giving them support.  Difficult to explain unless you lead the life we lead.  I think src60's comments (Steve) will understand as he can empathise with the life we lead.  But thank you.

Hello Steve!  Well, we have "twin" lives, I guess. My son has autism, learning difficulties and multiple rare medical conditions.  Autism in itself is a journey of challenges throughout our children's lives, isn't it?  And then your wife gets hit with cancer.  The only upside is that our experiences in the various "systems" gives us skills of negotiating through the different phases of our child's lives and the difficulties we have.  Our first born, a little girl, died when she was six months old through medical negligence before our son was born.  My husband has never ever recovered emotionally from that loss.  He says he will never get over the fact that he could not save her, could not fix what happened, could not stop what happened.  He described it as "impotent rage"!   I like your Randy Armstrong quote.  Sometimes it is hard to find "today's peace", isn't it?  Thank you for responding.  In trying to help ourselves and being open about our struggles, I do hope you are right when you say we help people with their own challenges.  Virtual hugs to you  Susan