I feel bad after reading everyone elses posts my mum has just been diagnosed its me in a state not her. Treatment has not started yet but all i hear in my head is treatable not cureable. No idea what help i will need or want or what i should be doing ? I keep thinking once treatment starts it will all become clear but will it ? Its only me & mum i work parttime but what if we dont have enough money for heating i worry about stuff that has not happened and i dont know if it ever will. I feel very alone friends and family are ok but they dont really get it not that i have asked i dont think mum would like me to discuss money worries with them. Am I the only person thinking like this? Did anyone else start like this? If so how did it pan out ? Oh do i sound mad it feels like i am
Hello Mack
Sorry to hear about your Mother.Unfortunately the language of Doctors and Oncologists always seems to emphasise treatable not curable, it’s a terrible thing to hear, not something we want to hear about our loved ones. It’s too easy to become overwhelmed by prognosis, & treatment plans. If you are concerned, then by all means ask questions of the Doctors, I did and put my mind at rest, that the best was being done. Worrying about such things, won’t change the outcome and won’t do you or your Mother any good, as she’ll know you’re worrying and maybe make her anxious. Also it’s right to be concerned about practical things, such as heating bills, but again worrying about it, won’t make it be any better. If it puts your mind at ease, maybe work out ways you can cut back a little. But maybe it’s best if you focus your attention on your mum for now, she will need your support and love.
once treatment starts, it’s unusual to know instantly of how successful it has been, often scans or blood tests are taken every few months, which is normal for the health service, but is agony for those waiting to hear, it was for me
Give yourself some time to relax, being a career is very demanding, you need to try and find time for you also. Maybe phone the MacMillan support line, to see what support you might be able to get, even if not needed now, it may help you relax more knowing what help you can call on in the future
take care
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
