Hello everyone
I am new to this group and very glad to have found it.
My husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer last September and since then he has gone through chemotherapy and 2 operations and a stroke.
life has been so stressful for us both and we have coped with much of this without support.
Recently I have discovered financial help and managed to get this sorted out which is a big burden off us.
However the thing I am still struggling with is this feeling of grieving, which I couldn’t come to terms with as my husband is still here with me. My guess is it’s because I am grieving for the full life we used to live which has now been interrupted by cancer.
My husband has now had to have his bladder and prostate removed and this operation took place weeks after having a stroke at the end of chemotherapy. I was so scared throughout all of this, he has been home and recovering for 4 weeks now, and I am doing my very best to look after for him. I still feel anxious and scared as the first appointment with the surgeon confirmed stage 4 cancer. There will be follow up checks and scans to ensure the best treatment, which is very reassuring, but I am feeling so anxious and scared for the future.
I am sorry for the long post, but it’s good to get it off my chest.
Thank you everyone for your patience with this long post 
Hello
i agree with the other replies, make the most of every minute of every day, treasure each others love, concentrate on the Now, no one knows what the future holds. So be there for each other.
take care
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Dolly, my heart goes out to you and your husband.
My neighbour had the exact same operation seven years ago. He has always lived on his own and continues to do so, never complaining, and seems to be able to carry on with everyday life as before. I hope that you will gain something positive from this.
In the meantime, I understand exactly what you mean about grieving for your previous life together. The physical pain of grief can be devastating - even, as you say, your dear husband is still here with you.
I'm so glad you've found us here. There are some wonderful, caring people in this forum who really understand and are probably experiencing something similar. I know I do - so, please, never feel you are alone.
Sending you lots of love and healing hugs 
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Thank you so much Penny your message means so much to me, it gives me hope and inspiration and it is lovely to be able to unburden yourself to people who understand what you’re going through ️
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