Feeling used

You're not being selfish at all.  I live this every day and have orders barked at me, no please or thank yous, I have no help or appreciation from my husband whilst caring for him full time since his terminal diagnosis and on top of all this, found out I may lose my job too. 

Hello

i really feel for you, being a career is a tough role, but must be very upsetting as things are. Is your husband easy to talk to ? Would he listen to some gentle words from a close family member ? may have to word it carefully, so it doesn’t look like it came from you. I assume you’ve tried talking to your husband about your feelings and how he is ‍

sending you strength 

keep safe and well

Hi

Thank you for your kind words. I've triwd many times to gently explain how this affects me too. This morning I was upset thinking about the future without him, allhe asked how long I was going to let it bother me.  I'm human, feelings and emotions are normal. I try not to think of what's coming so I can get through each day one at a time. It's him bringing it up that makes it affect my day 

Hello

has your husbands mood changed since taking R-CHOP, it does list this as an occasional side effect, doesn’t help you much, if it is that, but could help knowing the reason.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../r-chop

Oh my days …there’s  truth in the saying that there’s always somebody worse than yourself…on the upside mines had a good day today , he’s even managed to do a couple of small jobs , he was really breathless afterwards , but it also gave him a bit of a boost …on wards and up wards …I really feel for you and what you’re going through …and to think that your job may be coming to an end, the worry must be enormous…sending you hope and love xxx  stay strong and look after your own well being xxx

Yes I’m used to the mood swings , when it gets too much one of our daughters has a kind but stern word in his ear …this brings him back for a while …but then it all starts again ….we’re halfway there now, hopefully the RCHOP will do it’s job and then we can hopefully find our new normal x 

Praying for you all

I feel for you and know how hard it is to keep going when it feels as if nothing you do is right. I have a situation with my husband who has recurrent myeloma. He does too much physical activity like digging the garden when he's in steroids and hurts himself due to spinal  fractures. If I try to suggest being careful he shouts at me, accuses me of controlling him. I honestly hate living here and life feels like a dark place with no relief. 

I’m so sorry I’ve not been on for a while…and thank you all who replied to my post ….update , THERES LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL …hubby has recently had his 4th R-CHOP…he’s still taking it like a trooper , 2 more to go 

He’s been so much more helpful,doing little bits and pieces around the house ,listening to my emotions and basically being my lovely hubby again , he’s had a couple of “ down days” but not anything like the dark days a few weeks ago …he’s been eating more, 3 meals a day , all of his life he’s only ever eaten 1 meal per day, he’s gained  weight and feeling so much better in himself …hopefully and fingers crossed, he’ll carry on being my lovely hubby…I’m thinking now that all the dark days, the anger, the pushing me away where all signs of him having to deal with his emotions and trying his best to come to terms with his illness …the dark days are, where awful…but there is a light at the end of this long horrible tunnel …we just have to keep looking for it , sending you all hugs xxx

I also now how you feel. If I make suggestions he's doing too much or have you phoned the doctor my hubby gets all moodiness. When at the end you are trying your best, it's hard when you are a carer for two people. (I'm a carer for my mum). 

I feel that they don't understand the stress you are feeling & you don't feel appreciated or loved. I miss having a cuddle & only get that if I ask. At night it's a quick peck not even a proper kiss.

I know he has a tumour on his spine and the lower half, legs don't work properly & he's in pain. But I'm in pain & lonely missing being loved.