Struggling to cope

Hi all 

I am new to this forum and felt tonight that I really am at breaking point. 

To give a quick overview, I am 30 years old and my Mum was diagnosed with terminal secondary liver cancer in Nov 2019 (primary was in her bowel, all removed and she now has a stoma). 

She has done so incredibly well this far, however has been in hospital for the last month or so and is becoming increasingly worse. She is going stir crazy and wants to come home which I hope is a possibility however I am becoming worried that this may not happen given her quick deterioration, and I feel this may be the start of the end.

I struggle with anxiety and depression anyway and until now I feel I have been able to stay positive for my Mum and enjoy the time I have had with her, but seeing her like this is just utterly heartbreaking and I feel so helpless. Visits aren't long in the hospital and she is crying to me asking me to help her get out and go home. We are waiting for a care package but as we wait, she seems to be getting weaker and weaker by the day :( 

I already feel myself on a downward spiral and the worst is yet to come. As I write this, I have tears streaming down my face and i just can't seem to catch a breath. My poor Mum. Nobody deserves this. I cannot imagine my life without her, nor do I want to despite it being inevitable. 

I'm also incredibly anxious and worried about work and keeping a roof over my head when I need time off to grieve. I will most likely be on statutory sick pay of just £95 per week due to starting a new job soon and won't have been there long enough for full company sick pay.

Please, please can somebody tell me how to deal with this as I just dont know how.