What to expect?

Hi SLP

I'm so sorry for what you and your husband are going through, the frustration at the doctor's response must send your already high anxiety levels through the roof!  I can't answer your questions but I can reach out on some level....My husband was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer in February, since then we've been through brain surgery, radiotherapy and we've just started Immunotherapy.  They've told us that it's not curable but with all this treatment it should be manageable - I feel the same as you do...what does that mean exactly??  I understand what not curable means but what does "manageable" imply?  It leaves you feeling hopeless and terrified!  Life at the moment feels like it's suspended and not knowing what the future will bring has created levels of anxiety I never thought I would feel.  Everyone tells you to stay positive, I know how important that is but it's so difficult when you don't actually know what your're dealing with.  I know I'm not much help to the questions you have but please know you're not alone, I for one am also trying to find my way through the darkness, trying to not to lose hope, trying desperately to stay positive and hoping and praying that there is light at the end of this tunnel.

I with you both all the best, please feel free to reach out to me any time you need someone to chat to.

xxxx

Hi

Not sure I can give any guidance but am sending my best wishes as in a very similar boat 

My Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 years ago. She's not been well this year but didn't manifest into anything. This week she confessed to being sick in the night and when I took her yo a&e admitted it had been happening for a month. Frankly looks like throwing up cola. Long story short after a Ct scan weds, her breast cancer has spread to her chest bones and possibly oesophagus. I'm not sure where we go from here, but it's comforting to know others in same boat x

Dear SLP,

Oh dear this sounds so sad and hard and horrible and devastating for you both. 

Sounds like the "pump" with the meds is a syringe driver. That means that each day the nurses will come and make sure he has everything he needs inside of it to slowly drip the medication into his system. They do these when people have trouble swallowing medication. My husband had one for slow drip pain meds- but he hated the "big box" so gave it up. 

Our palliative pain specialist nurse has said to me that towards the end they will have less energy, become more and more fatigued, less mobile and eat and drink less. I have also learned that it is most natural at this stage to let them have what they fancy and not to push or try to build them up. If they want to sleep, let them. Not eat, it's the body's way of letting go. 

I have the same to "look forward to".

We are all here. 

Listening

With love, 

T.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. In February I was told with my mum that her Breast cancer was back it had spread to her lungs and liver and was terminal looking at months instead of years. I fe so helpless it is so sad to see my mum fading away as the days go by. I really have felt so frustrated as not much help has been given. Last week my mum was in so much pain and no one came to her a

Aid. I would just like some advise on what to espect as I feel so very in the dark. I'm so sorry I think I've typed this in the wrong place. 

Mary rose, I'm so very sorry about your dear mum. It must be devastating for you - especially knowing that she should be receiving much more support from her doctors. My heart goes out to you. Hugs to you both. ️️

SLP,

This sounds awful. Some doctors just can't see beyond 'the facts' and lack complete empathy.

We can never predict how long there is. I'm watching my wife waste away whilst still, on occasion, getting a glimpse of what it was like with her beautiful smile and, now and again, cheeky comment.

Silke,

We too got 'manageable' comment. Seems it wasn't long for us but I think it's a term used as there are times where no timescale can be provided.

WDJ