Facing diagnosis without family

Hi Cleo123 - I am so sorry to hear of your partner's diagnoses.  My husband was diagnosed with bowel cancer in August 2022 and it was utterly terrifying - like you I found myself emotional and full of feelings, whereas he seemed to take it calmly.  Cancer can be an incredibly scary word when you hear it for the first time.

It's wonderful news is that they can do an operation to remove it.  It sounds awful, but it is a fairly common operation and I have no doubt that he is in excellent hands for that.  My husband has had a fair few operations and he always stayed in hospital until they were happy that we were able to manage at home.  We are always referred to the district nurse service as well who visit as often as possible to tend to dressings etc, so you don't have to think about it.  They really are amazing people.  I tend to find that it's the unknown that is far harder to deal with than the known, and I have no doubt that you will cope admirably :)  

I found this online community wonderful not only as a form of support, but also realising that you are not alone - it really did make a difference for me.  The way I was feeling was normal and we are all going through something similar. 

Sending a hug x

Hi Cleo,

Sorry you are going through this at such a young age. Have you a Mum or Dad who could stay with you for a little while when your husband comes out of hospital? We had this situation when my daughter had breast cancer at 35 with a young child of 18 months and partner with a new job which took him away. We stepped in to help when he was away, and stayed over for a week at a time.

My husband was very weak when he came out after two operations, but age is on your side. Good luck.xxxx

Hi,

Thank you for the kind message. Sorry it’s taken a while to reply, I think it’s taken me a while to wrap my head around it all. His surgery is on Thursday and both sets of parents are going to be around at the weekend and potentially his parents will stay longer as I will have to be back in work fairly soon after. Hoping it all goes well!

Thanks for your message and the advice. Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. I think it’s taken me a while to get my head round the whole situation. They have said he will be in hospital for 5-12 days after operation, and the nurses we’ve met have been great so far. I think you’re right, it’s the unknown of the whole situation that makes it a bit scary. His operation is on Thursday and we’ve both been asked to isolate for 3 days prior so I’m quite glad we’ve got some time to just have some peace before hand. 

Hi Cleo123,

Are you still going into school? If so, is it a consideration getting signed off due to family illness? The school ought to support you in this regard, no question. Teaching is a hugely time consuming and stressful job at the best of times. 

Being in our situation is a huge emotional roller coaster and you'll perhaps need the additional time so that you have the strength. 

I hope my comments are of some help.

WDJ