Hello,
I've just joined today so this is my first post.
My husband was diagnosed at the beginning of last month with cancer of unknown primary (CUP). Everything has happened and escalated so quickly. He originally went to the doctors for something unrelated but had noticed an enlarged lymph node near his collar bone. He wasn't worried as had consulted Dr Google! And thought it was his bodies reaction from having the flu jab, however tests started there and just a few weeks later told the cancer is in his lymph nodes and he has multiple bone Mets. They have given him 3-9 months (we are already 2 months into this). He had no symptoms on that first visit and was a very active and fit postman (54 years old) but is already unable to do most things for himself so I am caring full-time.
I am really struggling as there sense to be no time line as to what to expect. I don't feel like I need counseling but the questions I have seem to have no answers.
His medication is very strong for the pain and this is making him sleepy and confused, however I don't know how much of this is down to the medication and how much is the cancer. Today has been particularly bad, rather than napping he has been sleeping very deeply for most of the day. I just don't know if we are heading into final weeks or if he has months left. Does everyone become immobile, does everyone lose their appetite, does everyone become incontinent???? He's not really interested in food but is making himself eat but nowhere near normal and he's not incontinent but I don't know if these are stages or markers that I can use to gauge where we are at. .
Sorry for the long post X
Hi Winnie135
Welcome to the wonderful club we hope nobody ever joins and so sorry to hear about your husband. My wife got a diagnosis finally of Leiomyosarcoma so cannot directly relate to CUP but there is quite a bit on it here.
There is more than enough doubt and uncertainty around having a known cancer diagnosis so likely it would be hard for even his oncologist to say what is going to happen next. We do often get asked on here is this or that is a sign and the only real answer is nobody really knows.
Being a carer can be very rewarding but also is incredibly hard work. If we look at Looking after someone with cancer there are a lot of tips but one thing I know I had to learn was to look after myself. When I made me ill I was no help to anyone and we do often see people talk on here of finding the need to be a little bit selfish.
Do post on here whenever as someone will always be listening and together we make a great team.
<<hugs>>
Steve
