After 15 months since mum was dx with stage 4 SCLC, we are seeing significant changes in her now.
Mum was told in Sept that there were 7 small lesions in varuous parts of her brain, in Jan they were showing movement and swelling around the areas, but no new ones, so 3rd line chemo was started in Jan due to growth in lung, lymph nodes, liver, bones, and who knows where else! Mum had only finished 2nd line chemo in Dec, so growth quite quickly after finishing this chemo.
I spoke to mum's team as she has been so wobbly, trouble getting upstairs, and some confusion, so we had a brain MRI last week and will get results Tue/Wed.
We are all concerned the brain has more or new activity, steroids have been upped to see if swelling until results back. WBR may be given if it can, and chemo stopped until after radiotherapy.
Mum gave her wrong age at the hospital and we had to use a wheelchair at the hoapital, this completely broke my heart. In just a month my mum has shown these changes. She cannot get in/out of the bath by herself now, she doesn't have the strength in her legs. Occupational Health are coming out and someone has been to my mum's to assess her last week.
My question or advice I am seeking is regarding taking time out from work to look after my mum now, I am worried this is the decline now. I promised her I would be there on this road, and I am ttying to work out how to do so, as silly as it sounds. My work are aware and the plan was to take a career break, but my husband was made redundant a few weeks ago, so I don't know how to do it now. He is applying for jobs, getting/got interviews (in his profession) so I am the sole earner now, and we obviously need a wage coming in, bills need paying, but I am breaking my heart as I just want to go home. I'm about a 90 minute drive from my parents. I am still wfh, and know it would be difficult to try to go to theirs and work there, I think i need to focus on my parents, my dad is poorly too, so I know working and caring will burn me out. I just don't know what to do, or see a solution? My head is fuzzy, so thinking is hard right now and problem solving isn't going down well either.
Can anyone offer any advice, tips or their own experiences please?
I do get full sick pay for about 4 weeks, I think? Never had to really use this before, but am going to as my HR to confirm.
I just know I want to and need to be there for my mum as much as I can. Life sure throws curves at you when you don't need them!
My heart says go home, work is work. I only have one mum and will never get this time back and will regret not being there helping her, and then my stomach thinks how will you survive financially.
I think after such an emotional.weekend home with my parents (i go home every weekend) I cannot think straight, my emotions are drained and I really don't know what to do?
Hi Bearhug2020
So sorry to hear about everything you and your entire family are going through. I wonder if it might be helpful for you to talk to one of the advisors on our helpline to discuss your options and what support might be available to you and your family depending on the options you choose. It would be good if you talked through your options with your HR department too so you know what the options are there.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Hello Steve,
Thank you 
If it doesn't rain it pours!
I emailed my HR dept today, and they have given me options, and now I know what my own sickness benefit is too. I will definitely contact the helpline too, once I get my voice back 
Thank you for taking the time to reply.
Bearhug x
Hello Juppy,
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation too.
My mum took a turn 2 weeks ago, she lost use of her legs, so i went home straight away and am still here. Mum spent 10 days in hospital and is now home for end of life care. It has happebed so quick! We were told mum has weeks 
I have been signed off work now, will worry about the finances at a later stage. I'm glad my hubby hasn't got a new job yet, he has been home with me, supporting us all emotionally and taking us to and from the hospital 3 times a day. We think something is a negative, but this has been an absolute blessing in disguise!
So, here I am, at my parents, helping mum through this final part of this road we have been on for 16 months. This is time I will never get back. Work and money seem so little in importance right now.
Hope you work out the best solution for you, sonetimes we don't have time to think and just go with the flow xx
