emotions all over the place - what's normal to feel?

Hi Kat55

So sorry to hear about your husband...... and feel for you. I feel exactly the same I know it’s a cliche but everyone on here feels just like us. The worst part ( well one of) is when I go to hug my husband ( lung cancer) he has lost about 3 1/2 stone and he just isn’t obviously the man he was obviously lost weight very quickly and I don’t think you realise until one day you think wow......

i too can get myself in a distraught situation....... no good if husband is present they have enough to worry about without us wives losing the plot but it’s easier said than done

i don’t feel hatred but intense anger that this cancer has landed on our doorstop.....selfish I know

By no means am I calm all of the time believe you me I can crumble at the slightest thing like just a different tone / edge to his voice or a word

i get through I  function basically on an hourly basis...... also the trouble is men don’t open up maybe they don’t want to burden us I just don’t know

just remember you feel exactly the same as all of us on here we just want our life back but in reality this now is our life there’s a saying isn’t there you don’t appreciate something until you don’t have it......... we have our husbands or loved one but.......

take care

Bess

Hi Kat55

There probably won't be a single person caring for a loved one who hasn't been through all the feelings that your are experiencing. Your husband will not be the person that you married and will seem to be needy of your attention/care/love.  It's easy for others to say that he will be frightened of what's to come and therefore needs love and understanding. Whilst this is true, others forget that the carer is also going through this illness, but is expected to be calm, nurturing, supportive etc all of the time. I don't think there will be many people here on this carers forum that could say they hadn't felt a whole range of emotions during our loved one's illness.  We cry, we rant, we rage, we feel guilty, angry, resentful, stressed and every other emotion in between.

You are most certainly not alone.  Forgive yourself for any negative emotions you may feel and try to carve out some time for yourself, if only to remind yourself that you are a person too.  A person who matters.

i relate to all of the comments already made - its a total rollercoaster and i just want it to stop and get my husband back as he was. Not going to happen i know but i just can't believe this is happening to us. 

To Hermes

well said ...... says it all

Bess