I have needs

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Hi, I just want to start this post by saying I love and care for my husband very much and want to look after him. Having a partner with cancer i feel takes away any right I have to feelings. Does anyone else feel like this. I still have needs for love, care etc but I don't feel I can express this to my husband, to admit I have needs but I'm not the one with cancer. He has bowel cancer and we are in early stages of treatment so he feels well at the moment, is still working but is sometimes tired. My husband is quite stoic and traditional so is not someone who easily opens up. don't know how to manage the situation, I don't even know what to say. I know it's the situation, ie the cancer that is contributing to my feelings and the complications we have so far experianced when he started treatment , his heart reacted to chemo so treatment was stopped for a while. I just feel miserable but I'm trying to be positive. please tell me I'm not the only one that feels like this. How do other people manage there feelings? x

MamaT over 2 years ago in reply to Strugglin

Dear Strugglin,

I am really sorry to hear this has all been so horrific for you.

This has definitely been the hardest year of my life to be sure.

Perhaps he is just dealing with the enormity of it all and of course it is not fair to take it out on you.

Do you have some people in your life you can talk to? Some days I take each minute at a time- and really need to be that simple and measured with it.

My husband has now been given only weeks left to live and I feel numb if I'm honest.

Take care- I know I haven't said much to help- but wanted to touch base with you.....

positivemum over 2 years ago in reply to MamaT

To everyone who is struggling but still has their partner- after an 11 week fight I lost my husband to cancer. He was 52. He didn't deserve it. He fought hard. We found it hard. But now 8 weeks after his passing I would do anything to have one more conversation or even argument with him. Please make the most of the time you do have because I can assure you in my.position you will want them back no matter what. The time we had in the hospice was invaluable. Talk talk talk. Get finances sorted. Get arrangements sorted because my god it really helps when it needs to. My heart goes out to each and every one of you but value every second even the tough ones. It will carry you through on the future xx

Coco201 over 2 years ago in reply to positivemum

Dear Positive Mum,

I am do very sorry to hear you lost your husband. He was so young at age 52 it seems shocking. Thank you for your words of wisdom. It does help put things into perspective during this arduous journey. Sending my love.

positivemum over 2 years ago in reply to Coco201

Thank you for your reply. It is a journey noone wishes to be on . All we can do is support each other x

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I have needs