I don't know what to do

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My partner was diagnosed with bowel cancer and liver mets in November. He was told that it was incurable and his treatment (chemo) would be palliative. From diagnosis his brother stayed with him as he is very weak and normal activities such as cooking, cleaning and shopping are now too much.

I took over from his brother at the start of January, we have a long distance relationship so over the last 3.5 years I have travelled to see him every 1-2 months. I stayed for almost a month and it's been one of the hardest things I've ever been through, everything has changed and coming to terms with the dramatic shift in our relationship alongside caring for him full time has been emotionally and physically draining. I have no idea what the next few months/years might have in store but I really don't think I could do this again or continue going forward. I know we won't have the future we hoped for now but the present and limited future we do have is breaking me.

He may be able to look after himself again but for now he is completely dependent on others. His sister is with him now and the plan is for me to return in 6 weeks, taking more time off work and time away from my home and family. I realise there are many of you out there who don't have the opportunity I have to take a break and step away and I have the deepest respect for all of you. 

  • Hi

    Sorry to read about your partner, I can see how difficult this situation is for you and often the loss of the future we had planned can be overwhelming. It might help you to talk to one of the team on our helpline who might be able to guide you to the best solution for yurself, your partner and the others involved with him.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

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