Hi everyone. How does everyone cope with the practicalities of incontinence and having to basically put an adult in a nappy? The friend I am caring for, along with my husband is now unable to stand and deteriorating fast. So, last night soiled himself and it was so difficult cleaning him up. The community nurse who visited today re a catheter issue advised we remove our friend’s pants, pyjamas and put on the incontinence pants instead. It was both physically and emotionally hard doing this but we managed.
our friend wanted to end his days with us and we made a commitment to do this, knowing it would be challenging but our friend deserved to be cared for by people who really care and know him. A hospice nurse and community nurses visit but we are the main carers for our friend. I have cried buckets, sleep is becoming harder and I am so scared of failing our friend, and of watching him die. My husband is scared too and heartbroken watching a very dear friend disappear before our eyes.
im so sorry to go on, but needed to just express how I’m feeling, in a safe community. X
Hi
So sorry to hear about your friend, there is an old saying "a friend in need is a friend indeed" and clearly you are demonstrating that.
You are also right that it can be a significant challenge where hospitals and hospices have teams providing 24/7 cover doing that at home is a stretch many people find they are not able to cope with. With the best will in world both my father and my wife's father end up in care homes, and the impact both on them and our families was much more positive that we might have thought.
Crying can be a wonderful release, lack of sleep however rapidly becomes a real problem and there are some suggestions in our pages here.
In closing though I would like to thank you for sharing this here and there is no need at all to apologise. We do all get your "this is so hard" and we are all here to provide some support and a safety net for how we feel.
<<hugs>>
Steve
