I feel lost my husband has advanced prostate cancer unfortunately it isn't curable as it has already metastatic spread into his bones. We have 2 young daughters who don't know which is hard to keep up the pretence that everything is normal. My lovely hubbies is 57 and got diagnosed February 12th 2021, he doesn't want our girls to know at the moment he is protecting them for as long as possible they are 11 and 15 why is life so unfair at times. I was 16 when my mom died of ovarian cancer which had spread to her bones, why why why...
HI Gizzybear
welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about your husband. It's beyond cruel. My own husband (now 52) was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour in Sept 2020 so I can empathise with what you're going through. We have two children, albeit older than your girls ( a son and daughter, 21 and 24) and telling them was tough, beyond tough but personally we felt it was better to have everything out in the open.
It's an entirely personal decision when and how to break it to your kids but I was talking to my mum about things recently and she told me a story of how she felt when she lost her daddy to stomach cancer when she was 12. While he was ill, he kept telling her about all the things they'd do when he was "better", all the memories they'd make. Neither him nor my gran told her or her sister the truth about his illness. My mum cried down the phone as she told me about coming home from school to be met at the door by her auntie who told her to go in and say goodbye to her daddy. When she asked why, she was told "because he's dying." My mum is now 81 years old and has still not got over the hurt and the heartbreak of not being told the truth. She still misses her daddy.
When the time is right for you as a family, I'm sure you'll find the right way and the right words. You'll know what's best.
It’s always good to talk so please remember you can call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
I hope I haven't overstepped the mark with my mother's story. This is tough journey for all involved. it's a rollercoaster of emotions. Lord I've gone through emotions I never knew existed over the past 16 months. My kids have been superstars though and the three of us are helping each other to cope with this rough ride.
I'm sending you a huge virtual hug. You're coping so much better than you realise. Stay strong,
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
