About to become a carer

Hi Hermes

a very warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about your husband.

I'm unfamiliar with that form of cancer so can't offer many words of wisdom here. Sorry.  I got flung headlong into the carer role when my husband was diagnosed with a grade 4 brain tumour in Sept 2020. From the experience of bringing him home after surgery and then for a second time after complications caused by an infection, I'd say be led by what your husband wants and feels capable of. Everyone is different and everyone reacts differently to the various treatments. Be patient with him. Be flexible. 

This group has been a great source of support to me over the past 15 months. I'm sure there will be someone along later with more experience of liposarcoma to offer more detailed advice.

It’s always good to talk so please remember you can call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Don't worry about "messing it up". All any of us around here can do is do our best. No one gives us training for this.  Please though take time to take care of yourself here and your own wellbeing. It's been a lot for you to process too so taking time for yourself isn't selfish, its necessary, even if its only a few minutes to read  a book or go for a walk. I've found journaling very helpful too.

Hope some of this has been of help. I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive vibes. Stay strong. 

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Hello Hermes

i am no expert but can only offer wisdom gained from my own experiences with my late husband, his first Christmas after having chemo a few days before.

I would advise you to go easy on yourself and to not expect to much of your husband, let him decide what he wants to do and when.  Chemo really took it out of Mal, he was hungry and wanted his Christmas dinner but then couldn’t eat it, he found having  visitors was tiring even though he wanted to see everyone and he became very grumpy.  Those awful words of ‘cancer’ and ‘chemo’ plays with your mind, I know how devastated I felt and can only imagine what was going through his.

if you are anything like me you will be scurrying around trying to make life perfect for your husband, but there is no perfect, you need to take each moment, each day, each week as it comes.  Of course you will look after him and do everything you can to make him happy, but you must remember to take care of yourself too.