Struggling with the change of person

I feel for you as it same for me I'm on settee at this moment my hubby was in hospital Christmas where found out cancer has spread to lungs and bones he cannot now get out of bed and getting weaker like you I've took the blunt if it all it hurts and now it's worse I hope you do get to make up but it's hard I am struggling daily now do heating I'm not the only one helps 

Hi my husband was diagnosed out of the blue in Aug 2020 and while doing well now I find the negativity so difficult to deal with. On waking the first comment everyday is something horrible.. a comment on a news reporter, the weather or whatever. I’ve done the caring the physical nursing post radiation and just wish something anything positive would come out of him. Bluntly I wouldn’t be here without great friends who have no idea of my real life but are there for a chat run or coffee . All I can recommend is walk / run in daylight and find some friends  for social chat .. I can’t really confide in anyone  but you have learnt to make me time and not feel guilty 

Yes yes yes! I’m going through exactly the same with my husband, I thought it was just me! 
He has changed so much, I try and understand how utterly awful he must be feeling but don’t understand why he won’t participate in family life, our teenage daughter is suffering, I’m suffering, even our dog is suffering and it’s like he just doesn’t care about us, I know he does care but he’s just totally absorbed by his cancer. 

I feel exactly the same. Yesterday, my husband reminded me (again!) that he’s dying, I wish he could relax into the life he has left instead of constantly going on about death. We have a young teenage daughter who is also suffering from his behaviour. 
‘Make lots of happy memories’ they said, we won’t have any, he’s making sure of that and it makes me angry and frustrated. I’m tired, trying to put on a positive front for our daughter’s sake, trying to get his affairs in order and not doing very well on that front, trying to find a Solicitor is proving hard and he just won’t help me. 

I've posted on heRe before I e struggled with my hubby since August he has gullet cancer as I'm writing this he is in hospital and I've been told he mot got long.tjus still hasn't changed him he still angry and I do think he very scared I took alot of abuse and so had my dog and everyone else he let me hold his hand yesterday and left me and my sister help when he fell before he got admitted to hospital but he hates not been able to do anything at all now i know his time is coming to an end soon just want him just to show he still loves me if certainly not easy hope you all get a bit of happiness in your life with this terrible cancer thing it's not just the person who gets cancer the whole family does xx

• I’m so sorry for you and your family, I think sometimes it’s harder for the family than it is for the patient. The patient gets love and care but who looks after you? 
  You know deep down your husband loves you and were he in his right mind, he would show you how much. 
  I guess you will have to take comfort from the happy times you shared before cancer took over your life. 
  Please look after yourself. 
  xx

Yes you to xx

Hello there, yes we have a 20 year old daughter who has been with us now for two weeks and leaving monday. I wish they had had a little quality time. At least there are occasional I love yous thrown about. But I do know that if this were me, well I just think I am.plain better at putting other's feelings before my own. I think being in bed 22 hours a day makes you even more selfish. I sit here alone so much and really do feel like Im losing it some days.

Thanks for being here!

Hello my wife has stage 4  liver and bowel cancer.

Am putting down to meds but my wife is the same really snappy towards me. fires off a round of harsh hurtful words then a little while later says sorry

mornings she's bitey then she's great then from 3 pm i have to really be careful what i say or do as she kicks off.

She has changed in personality wise  and so would anyone i guess but its still really hard not to come back at her i have a few times it it just makes it worse

I feel for you. Accept good days and bad days … I try and get out walking on my own to clear my head. Keep strong x