Apparently I'm not a carer

My wife was diagnosed with late-diagnosed stage 3B adenocarcinoma of the cervix about a year ago, and has been recovering at home since March. She underwent 25 radio sessions, 6 chemo and 3 bracytherapy sessions. Her treatment left her physically exhausted but she's now gained most of her strength back, but not stamina. During her treatment, she was lucky enough to stay in a "patient hotel" and I was fetching and carrying as required (up and down the M62), holding my job down and looking after her live-in Mother. All this was hard work, but our relationship kept us strong. As for prognosis, it's still uncertain following a series of inconclusive X-rays, MRI and PET/CT scans. She has a biopsy under GA coming up soon to hopefully give some actual news.

So last night we had a row. She basically said that I'd been helpful during her treatment but was actually appalled to think that I'd been calling myself her carer: "she wasn't an invalid and was actually managing quite well". I acknowledged that, but I stated that "carer" doesn't just mean the physical aspect - there's the love, affection and everyday kindness that's part of it, but she wouldn't accept that. She's a natural pessimist and I'm a natural optimist, but that's starting to fade now.

It's brought me right down mentally: we still haven't had any news as to whether the treatment has worked properly, and her fretting but unhelpful mother keeps threatening to "end it all" if anything happens to her daughter. I keep telling my wife that she is my first priority but she keeps pushing back. I'm honestly at my wits end and feel that our relationship that was once so strong is heading for the rocks.

If her post-biopsy prognosis is not good, and she's already talking about refusing treatment. I'm going to phone a support line next week - I honesty don't now how to handle the worst.