My wife has lung cancer diagnosed in 2020. From the start the tumor has been inoperable due to the proximity to major blood vessels. She has been through radiotherapy without any improvement. The first chemo did not go well and she ended up in hospital for a few days, so that was abandoned. Immunotherapy was the next treatment initially it seems it was successful in reducing the tumour, but after a short while it stopped working and had to be abandoned. She developed fluid around the affected lung which was drained but returned. An IPC drain was fitted and this controlled the fluid build up. Chemo was restarted but she ended up in hospital for a week with an infection, something she is very reluctant to repeat as it was not very good experience. More recently the drain was removed as there was no more fluid coming out. Since returning home after the infection she has not really improved, to put it in context she has not been in the kitchen for nearly 6 weeks now. She is very weak, has lost a lot of weight, while she is still able to move around she is using a trolley for support.
Heather doesn't want more treatment, each time she has had chemo it hasn't gone well. We don't have any timescale, but in her current condition it would not take much to finish her off. She is prone to infections as the left lung is almost completely blocked off by the tumour.
She is now in bed a lot of the time. Off to bed at 20.00. She gets up at 10.00 but often lies in bed after getting dressed. She gets up for a couple of hours at lunch time and again at 17.00
I am her sole carer, we have no children and she doesn't want to involve any other family (we are all getting on a bit anyway). It is only recently that I have accepted that I am her carer. A role that I am not well suited to as not having children my experience as a carer could be written on the back of a stamp, I had a minor role in caring for my mother. This was filling in gaps in her care by others, so different from the current situation.
She tells me to plan the meals for the week ahead, this is all very well but I can't tell from one day to the next what she fancies eating. As a cook I get by but am much more comfortable feeding myself. Heather is more choosy than me when it comes to food, whereas I eat just about anything.
I'm starting to find things are more difficult for me emotionally. Writing this I find the tears are not far away.
