Young children, husband recently diagnosed

Hi Mkow_21

Sorry to read about your husband and the issues you are facing with little in the way of a support network. You might like to discuss this with one of our advisers on the helpline who might be able to help you get a carers assessment from your local council as that can help find local support for you so that you can support your husband and your children.

In our case when my wife was really ill and our son was quite young we had a lot of friends who said "whatever you need" but unfortunately were not always available when we needed them most. We were really lucky that one friend/family went way above and beyond as I wonder how we could have possibly managed without them - that saying about a friend in need really struck us about them.

The advisers might be helpful to in looking at how you might be able to approach your employer and get support for you there, many employers can be surprisingly supportive in this situation if approached in the right way.

<<hugs>>

Steve 

Hi Mkow_21,

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer 3 1/2 years ago and our children were 2 and 4 at the time. My family also live a couple of hours drive from me and my mother in law wasn't very forth coming with offers for help with the children. It was really hard without the support network, like you my friends all have children around the same age as mine so I didn't feel like could ask for much help from them.

I took each day at a time, it wasn't easy taking my daughter to her first day at reception and having to go home and take my husband to chemotherapy. I would like to say it gets easier, I think it's more that you get used to your new world and things that used to be important no longer are.

Message me if you want a chat.

Lisax   

Hello, My husband also has bowel cancer stage 4 and also just started chemo. He is 52 and my kids are at uni. its very difficult to keep positive for them but helps that they are not here! I don't have any real advice as I am struggling myself. Just wanted to comment to show support

Hi sorry I only just realised I had replies to my message. Thank you I really appreciate your reply.  I hope you're husband is getting on okay with the chemo.  

Hi Lisa, sorry I haven't figured out how this page works so I didn't notice you had replied. Thanks so much for your message I really appreciate it.   I think I'm starting to see a bit of what you mean about it becoming your new world.     I've just sent a friendship request to you.  x

Thank you for our reply Steve, sorry I only just found the replies to my post now.  I'll give the advisers a call this week.  I did speak with my manager last week and actually they've been amazing, I'm gradually learning to be more open in asking for help, something I have always been really bad at doing!