Hi I'm new here, My nan was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer that has since spread to her liver and kidneys, she was given 6 months in July, She has also been diagnosed with dementia, The past few weeks her appetite has more or less gone and getting her to drink fluids is hard, She's very uncoordinated and is finding the little things hard now, She has been referred for palliative care but as yet this hasn't happened, Dougie mac have been out to see her, and nan told them she was fine and needed no help, nans also in pain most of the time now and her current pain relief isn't touching the pain, her Dr just told us to contact Dougie mac, which we did and they came out when nobody was with nan and they said they have to respect nans wishes, it's so difficult to sit and watch my nan become like this, I work as a palliative carer so know what to expect but seeing it happen to my nan is totally different than work, But as I do this for a living everybody thinks I want to do it for my nan, which I don't...I'm finding it difficult to think about what's about to come for nan and how we are going to get through it, It's such a cruel disease.
Hello Spacepuppy89
Welcome to the forum and thank you sharing your Nan's story with us.
Even though you work in palliative care, it is so much different when you are caring for one of your own as you have mentioned, and I understand your concerns regarding Dougie mac especially if Nan already has a dementia diagnosis.
I hope you don't mind but I have a few questions:
Does Nan's dementia render her without capacity at this time?
Does anyone hold medical power of attorney for Nan?
I am sure you know where I am going with those questions, if Nan has gifted medical power of attorney to anyone then they can request to be present at the time of consultation. Also I am not sure how long ago Dougie mac visited, but it is worth asking them to visit again, as conditions change daily for some.
Your Nan's GP should not be ignoring the need for additional pain relief, I wonder whether Nan's oncologist or specialist cancer nurse can help with this, is there someone you can contact?
I do hope that both you and Nan get the support that you need, and I would hope that an organisation like Dougie mac would take into account the generation that Nan comes from, the generation where grin and bear it seemed to be an unspoken motto. Support is key at this time... please give them another call and request additional support.
Lowe'
