Hi,
This is my first visit and some of the stories here give me hope and knowing that there are others in the country all going through the same thing in a different way is strangely re-assuring.
My mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, other than it being an adenocarcinoma i really don't know much more, I live a couple of hours away and so cant be present for medical appointments to hear things first hand. Her husband supports her day to day. But not fully knowing what is going on, the indepth detail is a real struggle for me - how do others cope? I guess its a lack of control ??? knowledge is power and all that. Its not that she isnt being honest what is going on i just cant seem to get the detail that i crave 
.
She has been given 12-24 mths at original appointment but who knows! The chemo is palliative and should start in the next 2 weeks. Any advice on how to be there for her - what i can do and say as it goes on and strips out her insides xx
Hi
Welcome to the community though sorry to hear about your mum. Very much the main point of the community is to spread knowledge though it does seem you are not doing too badly when I look at your message and the bit "who knows".
When I first joined the cancer club when I heard the word "palliative" I assumed very much end of life - learnt though that it means more about helping stop the cancer being a problem rather than the idea somehow it will be cured. My wife's cancer is incurable but the chemo she had put it to sleep - now she is just being monitored and been in our new happy state for 6 years now.
Even the oncologists do not always know - I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me to focus on the here and now because I was imagining things much worse than they actually turned out. Mind you there was the odd issue that came out of the blue - the conscious breathing exercises I was taught were really helpful with them - take a step back, a deep breath and think - we can deal with this - really there is not that much choice.
People do react differently to different chemo's - the side effects list can be really frightening but it can help to look at the odds too - and with a degree of faith remind ourselves the oncologist would not recommend it unless that thought it would be beneficial in the long term.
<<hugs>>
Steve
