My wife was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer some months ago and then she developed pleurisy 4 weeks ago and went into The Christie cancer hospital Manchester to get this sorted. Following a scan it was confirmed the cancer had got her lungs. We desperately wanted her to get home so I could, with support, care for her. Plans were put in place, oxygen, etc… However as the time for transfer home moved closer, it became clear things were moving quickly and she would have to move into a hospice. Her decline has been dramatic and she is suffering considerable pain and discomfort, her medication means she is hallucinating, and often unable to communicate clearly. It is expected she has probably days left before it will all be over.
We met late in life almost 6 years ago and married July 2020, she is truly the only woman I have ever truly loved and we spent all our time together enjoying every moment we were together. It is destroying me to see her suffering as she is, and whilst I don’t want to lose her I certainly hate to see her suffering as she is, she has begged me to end the pain and suffering which literally destroys me. Worst of all I am overwhelmed with guilt that she is not at home, and now never will be, with me protecting and comforting her as I always promised. As we were so close from day 1 I really cannot imagine or see a life in the future without her.
I am sure many of you have been or are in similar situation, but I am truly a broken man and spend most days wandering around like I’m in another universe, and feeling I have let my one true love down in a massive way.
Regards to you all.
Paul x
