Friends and relatives visiting

Hi

Badly - however my relationship with my sister-in-law improved some after I swore at her.

Perhaps when they come round get them to do something useful - housework, cleaning the toilet for instance so you can have more valuable time with your partner.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thanks, my daughter has sugested this. My sister in law is not my enemy! Just over bearing! I need to share responsibility! Easier said than done! x

Hi JLNew

like src60 says - badly!

My husband received a terminal diagnosis  at the start of Sept 2020. Apart from myself and our kids, his only other blood relative is his brother. I last spoke to my brother-in-law over a year ago and have yet to see him. Despite my invitation encouraging him to come through to visit us anytime (he stays about 80 miles away) he has yet to put in an appearance! He has never called or messaged me to check how things are and only speaks to my husband occasionally.  My husband has seen him once but it was him who travelled across Scotland to meet him for dinner. Quite frankly I'm disgusted and if their mother was still alive she'd be livid!

Once my husband passes I doubt I'll ever see  my brother-in-law again and right now I don't feel I could be civil to him.

Friends on the other hand have been fantastic and so supportive.

It's true- we can pick our friends but we can't pick our relatives.

Hang in there.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

My husband is not at the carer stage yet but he has an incurable cancer. He has 2 sisters who come out regularly to see him. I get on with them fine however they sort of just get in the way when they are here! We have 2 young children (age 7 & 10) who enjoy seeing them but they often come out after work while I am trying to feed the kids, get their homework done & get them to their various activities & to bed! I know they want to see their brother & I would never stop them but sometimes it just feels more stressful. I don't feel like I have enough hours in the day for work, cooking, cleaning looking after the kids. 

I also don't feel like my sisters in law actually understand how bad the situation is. They have seen him at his worst but then they see him looking a bit healthier & seem to think things are getting better. Sometimes things they say irritate me & I can feel myself wanting to yell at them 'this isn't going away, he is going to die'

He has 2 older children too. 1 of which has her own issues as she battled cancer a few years ago but has been suffering from depression since then. His son I feel is in denial about ti all. We have all tried to get him to come visit his dad & keep in touch more regularly but he seems to think things are fine as his dad in not on treatment any more. I feel my 7yr old understands more about the situation than he does! I don't need his older kids to do anything I just don't want them having regrets or feeling like I hid things from them. We aren't hiding anything (except we haven't told the younger kids that the cancer is incurable) from them but are having trouble getting through to people about how serious this all is.    

He also has a brother who fell out with him about 6/7yrs ago. My husband has offered reconciliation but my brother in law has refused. He has never been in touch with either of us since his sisters told him the diagnosis back in February although his wife has.  

My mother in law has also just passed away last week so we have the family issues to contend with for that although everything seems to be going amicably. 

I feeling guilty at being annoyed with people when they are only trying to help us.