I’m suddenly really struggling. My husband got his diagnosis last year, with a prognosis of 50/50 survival rate. We have been diligently going through all the treatments, and when we think of the optimistic 50 percent we can get by ok, but when you think of the downside 50 percent possibility you can get plunged into despair. Right now things aren’t looking great although we really won’t know more for a couple of months. However I am suddenly so drained with the oppression of worry I don’t know what to do. All the cheery “bucking up” thoughts aren’t helping. So what do you do when the persistent worry is there without any real knowledge of where you’re headed? I feel like I’ve used up a year’s worth of mental framing and tricks and now everything that comes to mind is trite. I don’t know what I’m looking for… I suppose it’s what we’re all going through.
Hi Juppy
I just spotted your post. I really hope today is looking a brighter day than yesterday did. I can empathise with how you feel. My husband got his terminal diagnosis 13 months ago, give or take a few days. He has a GBM4 brain tumour so the news was never going to be good sadly. He was given a prognosis of 12-15 months...
Those early weeks and months were an emotional whirlwind then the treatment ended and the days just were..... Some days are easier than others then one or two hit you square in the face. A friend who has been an absolute rock throughout described it as unrelenting and it is.
So to try to answer your question about what do you do when the persistent worry is there? Personally, my coping mechanisms are mainly long walks on my own and journaling. I've filled several journals in the past year and for me, seeing the words down on paper, makes them easier to cope with. I try not to look too far ahead just now although I have a few things planned for 2022, in the heart breaking knowledge that I might well be widowed by then but life has to go on. We have to keep looking forwards no matter how hard it feels.
I stumbled across a meme/cartoon thing that I shared on my Facebook recently. It was a rabbit walking away with a rainbow umbrella over his head and the words. "Don't look back. You're not going that way." Those words have stuck with me.
I'll get through this journey. You will get through this journey. One day we'll sail through the day, other days we will take it an hour at a time but we will both get there.
Please also remember that it’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week - if you feel you need that wee bit extra support.
Sending you a huge virtual hug
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
