I wonder if anyone has a similar situation to the one I am going through. I am caring for my father with end stage Mesothelioma. He is doing okay, but the main problem day to day is my bossy and overbearing mother. She is trying to wrangle and clean up the mess of him being ill. For example she does not want a bed put downstairs for him as it will make a mess. She is so used to everything going her way in their relationship that now my dad does not have a voice except for the one I can manage to bring out. She's being selfish and I'm not sure how to breach this with her. I understand she feels sad, angry etc but she is making his last days a bit of a misery. I took them to a garden for a cream tea the other day. it was so peaceful and serene. But when I came back from the toilet I could hear her shouting at him from a long way off. I can't bear it. I almost want to swoop in and take him to my house for some quiet loving time. Very confused. Any one have any strategies to build up my compassion?
Hi CSN1
So sorry to read your story and the impact this is having on you. Family dynamics can be really challenging and I wonder what both your day and mum think of the situation.
Could it be possible your mum is thinking that if she delays/denies these changes then somehow it will delay the cancer? Sometimes patients are the same and I know when my dad was ill (not cancer) he tried to hide how bad he was getting until he collapsed at home and was taken in to hospital by ambulance.
<<hugs>>
Steve
