Took my partner to A+E just over two weeks ago for extreme breathlessness and weakness. His face was also mottled grey and yellow. Long story short they kept him in, did an endoscopy, took a biopsy, then CT scan. Turns out he has a massive tumour in his stomach that has enveloped his pancreas, one kidney, and has metastasised in his liver. There is also a necrotic mass in one part of his liver.
We are home now but waiting impatiently for histology results to go to the surgery and oncology team meeting so they can suggest a plan. I can’t sleep, neither of us can eat (though I make sure I cook every day), and although friends and family know it is cancer he doesn’t want to really talk to them until it has officially been staged and treatment suggested. It’s so hard to hear it all being downplayed, which is absolutely his perogative, but it leaves me feeling alone. I’m the only one who knows he needs 24 hour care. And I’m the only one who provides it. And we have never lived together though I’ve moved in now. I feel out of my depth. It’s a lot for a fortnight! I have chronic illnesses and am grieving the loss of my son last year. I expect this is TMI but this is my first post and I needed to get that out, sorry.
Thank you for the reminder that I need to and am allowed to look after myself. I also have Fibro and M.E and I’m no use to anyone if I crash. You think I’d have learned by age 57, yet here we are! 
I hope you can also find space and time to practice self-care 
