My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer just 8 weeks ago and during that 8 weeks there have been numerous appointments, five days of radiotherapy and surgery (less than 2 weeks ago). We have had no time to take all of this in and now my husband is so low, he has an ileostomy which he is finding difficult to accept. He is eating very little food and as a result is constantly feeling nauseous, which makes him want to eat even less.
I have been holding myself steady throughout with only a couple of wobbles but now just when he really needs me to be strong I don’t feel as though I can hold myself together much longer.
He is a shadow of himself and my heart is breaking watching him struggling so much. At the same time I feel angry with him, I feel he should be making more effort to get well, he needs to eat to help with his recovery. We need to process all that has happened so that we can face what comes next but I don’t know where to start to help him and myself do this.
At least one family member asks every day how I am feeling so I know that I am not alone but how do I tell our daughters, brothers, sisters and friends how I really feel when I know that they are all trying to deal with it themselves, where do I begin?
Hi Caztec121, so sorry to hear about your husband. Sounds like you've all had a rough few weeks.
It's a year since my husband was first diagnosed and we were flung onto this rollercoaster ride. One thing I've learned over the last few months is that there's no right or wrong way to feel. You're going through a journey, an emotional journey, too and its ok to have a wobble or two or three. All the emotions - tears, anger, fear- are perfectly normal. I know what you mean about not being able to say to friends and family about how you feel - that's where this community is a huge help, We get it! We're all sadly going through something not a million miles away from what you're experiencing so feel free to vent on here. I'm lucky in that I have a few very close friends I can be 100% open and honest with but I've also learned that "I'm fine" can say so much! Please try to take time for yourself to recharge your batteries - go for a walk, exercise, read a book, have coffee with a friend, whatever it takes to make you feel like you for a wee while. It really does help you to cope.
Hang in there. Stay strong. You're doing great!
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
