My husband was diagnosed with NET Cancer last year, we were stuck in lockdown throughout treatment, he was stable Dec to June but now we are active again and this time I'm struggling, last night he lost it with me, screaming how he has cancer n how I don't know how that feels. And yes he is right but he has no idea what it's like but I have tons of experience living with cancer n him. It's taken over everything, it's all about him and his needs, his treatment and how he feels, I dont come into any of it. Dr's n nurses ask him how he is, n I sit there zoning out because its all I can do not to just get up n walk out. No one says "how are you?" I know that sounds so selfish but this is my life too and I feel like im drowning and no one has noticed. No one cares, not even him. Everything is a moan or a dig about his aches n pains n if I hear about his bowel movements one more time I'm gona cut my ears off! Is it normal to resent ur cancerous husband? To wish for an hour off where u dont have to continually listen n to his moaning, where u can just not think about him? Is that selfish? Because I feel like im loosing myself all over again and he is just take take take from me. How do I survive this? Especially when people ask you about hospice care n want to punch them because ur no where near at that point n u can't even face thinking about it? Let alone talking about it! I just want to walk away n never come back........
Im the same! And my husband does wollow when he is down! I got his csn to get him in with a Councillor so I'm hoping that will help plus it cuts me out of it as I'm struggling with my own stuff, could 
u try the same? Talk to him in offloading to someone else for the benefits of the kids n u in mind? Would he go for that? Iim so sorry ur going thro it too, think we need a what's app group to call for support!
I think everyone should journal its so cathartic and helpful, I'd say speak to his csn but I wouldn't want him to turn on u, so u do what's best, I personally blackmailed my husband in front of his csn n Dr into getting councilling after I told him it was our last appointment I was coming too thankfully he relented but I don't want to make it worse for u, if u need a chat please message, 
