Meltdown….

2 replies
38 subscribers
684 views

Hi everyone. Well husbands Hodgkins has relapsed 2 years post full remission. Stage 3. Problem is he has heart disease and his health isnt great anyway. The Oncologists are discussing at the MDT intermediate treatment. He wont cope with salvage Chemo and stem cell.

I am devastated. I dont feel Like anythings real. Im crying in secret. My bad back has gone so the crutches are back. Im a mess. Ive just called the doctors. I dont think weve had time to take it all in. Since finding out its been relentless scans, tests, ultrasounds, different hospitals. Work let me move holiday forward so I could attend. I have a very full on area managers job with a big project about to start. So im super overwhelmed at the moment.
problem is Im good at home and also bad.
Weve got Oncology Thursday to go through treatment plan and when it will start.
I dont do this lightly. I may go sick until his first treatments done so we can see how it goes. Im just a mess. Cant imagine how he must be feeling. I just feel a failure with work too. I do care smuch and dont want to be a burden to anybody. But this has torn me to bits

Jillybean74 over 3 years ago

I think what you’re feeling is perfectly normal and how we’ve all felt at the start. It is so overwhelming when your having all the initial tests and scans etc. Feels like you may just as well get a hospital bed. The advice I can give is that it does get easier once the treatment plan is put into place. I’m also still trying to hold down my job and often find myself working while my hubby sleeps (don’t anyone tell him that as he already thinks work expect toO much from me)

I am a fine one to talk about this as I’m shocking at accepting help but do try to let others help if you get the opportunity. I initially made the mistake of insisting I took my hubby to all of his appts, even little things like having bloods taken i was having to uSe all of my holidays for hospital appts . Eight months down the line and Ive realised it can’t go on so I’m now letting other people do their bit for the basics and that means I can hold down my job (which I simply can’t afford not to do) but I can still be there for the important appts.

I also had a couple of weeks off sick earlier this year as it all for so overwhelming that I couldn’t keep going without it.

You will find the strength to get through this but anytime you need to offload come on here and go for it

Sending you a hug

Jillybean

Scaggette over 3 years ago in reply to Jillybean74

Oh Jillybean thank you so much. My goodness I so relate to your message. Plus I need to take your advice about appointments. What a time. Today we had relatives over in the garden. Just brother and ster. They sent their lateral flow tests bless them and sat miles away! But it helped for a second to distract us with their 4 lovely dogs. Now Im back in my zone. Need to get on the piano Sending you a hug back and hope everything is okay with you and your family xxx

More from this forum

Meltdown….