Caring for Mum, lots of emotions, lots of denial

Hi all

I wanted to share my experience so far in the hope that at least 1 person might recognise something similar and realise they are not alone.

76 yo mum was diagnosed 5 months ago with breast cancer that has spread to bone, lung and liver. Due to other medical complications it has been palliative care for the last 5 months.

Except pain in her pelvis\hip which had 1 dose of palliative radiotherapy, which was a god send so consider if offered.

She has 'denied' most of her symptoms as they arise like nausea due to a table she takes (for 10 years) or because of the heat, back pain 'I have always had' etc. 

At first I thought she needs to know there are medicines to make it better and talk to her, but now I realise that her 'rationalisation' of what is happening is not denial but is it's self a form of treatment.

So slowly we introduce new drugs, always on her terms, no matter how much I want to speed things up to make it more comfortable for her.

For example she has in the last week gone from taking oxycodone ever 2 week to ever 2 days, because of no pressure and her choice.

We all want to make it as comfortable as possible for out loved ones but please do remember that if can make it a personal choice for them at the right time then even in times we we (me) feel frustrated then it helps the most. 

I will post seperately about the chart I keep privately on progression of the cancer to try and understand that question that cannot be spoken of 'how long'

For now people, stay strong and everything you are doing is amazing x