Hi
I’m hoping I don’t sound selfish but I’m feeling totally overwhelmed.
My 60 year old husband has Stage 3 cancer of the larynx and is on week 4 of a 6 week course of combined chemo and radiotherapy. His prognosis is good and I feel guilty when that’s not so for many others - I’m a nurse so very aware of the reality.
My lovely dad of 75 also has a rapidly progressing Alzheimer’s and we are losing the essence of him very quickly.
I’ve always been the main wage earner and steer the ship of our home - although that’s easier with none of our 4 kids with us.
In the past we’ve gone through mental health issues (husband, son and daughter) and bankruptcy. So I’ve worked really hard - doing 3 jobs at times- to get us to a place where we could look to finish work next year and go off on our travels in our camper. Then this hits. For that I’m angry.
Hubby is too tired to drive and thanks to Covid I can’t go in with him so my day has become about the 130 mile round trip, working from the car and coffee shop and putting on a brave face. For that I’m exhausted.
Father’s Day has broken me this week. Being sad and worried about my own dad and seeing the kids feeling the same about theirs was terrible. And watching my husband sleep pretty much round the clock with the tell tale redness at his neck is awful. For that I’m sad.
I just don’t know what to do or what I want anyone to say but I hope you don’t mind that I’ve used the anonymity of this forum to offload and work through this morass of emotions - something that’s hard to do vocally to those around me - fabulous though they are. I just worry they will get sick of hearing me moan!
Thanks for being here x
Hi , welcome to the best club many think they ever found.
Are you selfish - NO - or if you are then everyone is.
Often anniversaries can be a challenge, I noted the co-op is now sending out messages asking if people want to be excluded from father's day advertising.
It might help - a little bit - to look at your feelings when someone has cancer and you can see how normal you are.
Post on here whenever or even in The Room - offload and slam the door on the way out!
If you feel it would help to talk to someone do ring the helpline too as it can be helpful for a quick fix.
<<hugs>>
Steve
