My dad has small cell lung cancer which was diagnosed in Jan this year. He has now finished all the treatment available to him and at the last consultant appointment 3 weeks ago he was given weeks left to live. He is single and lives alone. I am his only daughter. I have supported him all the way with going to every appointment with him, being there during his chemo and staying at his on an off when I’ve needed to. I’ve managed this around working full time and also studying.
as he is now on palliative care I have come to stay with him to care for him. I am currently off sick from work due to the emotional impact of supporting him through this stage of his illness. I have paused my studies and I am living away from my partner (and Catt). I had only been with my partner 6 months when my dad got the diagnosis. I moved in with my partner around that time. we have now been together just over a year. Therefore 6 months of that year I have been in the worst state of my life going through this ‘living grief’ and now I am away from him and all my other life’s responsibilities whilst I care for my dad. I know he thinks I should leave this to ‘carers’. It’s hard to explain to him how little carers/nurses can provide and also how important it is for me to be with my dad at this time.
How do people carry on with their lives whilst caring for a loved one? Is it possible to continue relationships when your whole world has fallen apart? I’m happy to put my life on pause to care for my dad but I cannot expect my partner to wait too. I feel very lost.
Hi
Sorry to hear about your father and the impact that is having on your live and that of others you care for. You are right of course that what professional care can do for your dad tends to be quite limited, from what I hear typically 4 visits a day is maximum above which people are generally pointed towards either assisted living or a care home.
Has your dad had a needs assessment from the local authority and you a carers assesment? These can be very helpful in getting someone to look at the care needs in a systematic way and can often highlight support that might be available to you. It might help to look at our publication getting support as a carer.
<<hugs>>
Steve
