Hi feeling kinda lost here

I feel your pain. It’s horrible when the person you love is hurting and shuts themselves away. I’m sure it will be temporary. You too will undoubtedly be hurting a lot too. It’s new, horrible and frightening. Maybe in loving you he’s trying to protect you. Hang in there xxx 

Thanks for your reply I appreciate it. It helps knowing someone else understands xx

Sometimes its hard for someone to open up to you especially when they are reeling from the news and walking into the unknown. He will be frightened of whats happening, what's going to happen, worrying about you and all kinds of other emotions that I am sure you are feeling too.  Give him some space to work his mind through things but in supporting him, do little things like a card telling him you live him. Little bits and pieces like the little cards you can get for a wallet. Give him a few days and then try to talk to him about this being a team effort to get him well again and reassure him you are with him every step if the way.   A gentle reminder that cancer isn't just about the person dealing with it, it affects everyone's life close to that person and in its very nature its destructive.  If you cannot get anywhere,  talk to your local cancer care charity for some help and support for yourself.

I am sending you virtual strength and courage to face all this, please talk to anyone who will listen and remember you are not alone. Come on here in the small hours when your mind is racing and sleep eludes you, there is usually someone around.  I found this forum invaluable in 2012 when I walked this journey with my friend. Look after yourself. 

Thank you so much for your reply. I think we are both feeling a bit lost just now, I’m going to give in a few days and then try and speak with him again. I love the idea of getting him a card to keep with him thank you xx

Hi Hikerchick,

Cancer is an insidious bastard that will do everything it can to come between your and your OH. 

Your OH is like my late wife was initially - introspective and withdrawn. In Marg's case, we sat down and had a good hard talk about how she had changed and how those changes were impacting me, our sons, their wives and our grandkids. It wasn't done from a "See what you've broken" viewpoint, more from a "It's affecting all of us sweetheart" angle.

Talk to your partner. The man you love is still in there. Talk to him and let him know he's not doing this on his own - you're all in there for the long ride.

Talk to him.

Peace,
Ewen :-)

My wife was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia two weeks ago today unfortunately no treatment will help. she has done the same as your partner and shut herself off. I'm sorry I cannot help.I do not know what to say or do. Take care

I’m so sorry that you are going through this and I’m sorry your wife is poorly. Please keep in touch if you feel able to as we can help support each other. 
Thinking of you xx

hi all,

Thanks for all the support you have shown to each other - life can get very difficult and certainly in my 6 years on the cancer journey I have seen relationships both deepen and break up.

Often a first step can be recognizing our own emotions - there are lots of tips in Looking after someone with cancer and having friends we can talk to honestly about how we feel certainly helped me to be there for Janice - especially when there were decisions she made I was not totally comfortable with at the time.

Some other resources that can be useful can be found here.

If you need remember too that our helpline is for everyone - I have cried at them in the past.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thank you Steve, really appreciate your response. Just in the process of starting to read through things now xx