Hi All,
New to all of this so just looking to get some similar experiences of people that are further along than my father. Also to see how people are coping with the covid situation atm.
Bit of an overview, my dad is 62 and has been diagnosed with stage 4 advanced prostate cancer with bone metastasis in his skull, shoulder, pelvis, rib and a single lymph node. Gleason 4+5 and original psa of 29 (I see some people at 800+ so unsure if docs are using same measurements?). He has a catheter fitted as enlarged prostate caused him to not be able to pass urine and this how we discovered everything!
I am basically all my dad has as a support bubble as he lives alone. I know it sounds selfish but he was diagnosed 5 months ago now so feeling a little alone right now in being there for my wife and daughter, juggling a highly stressful and commiting job, and looking after dad and taking him to all his appts because he doesn't drive (sorry to make it sound all about me!)
He is currently on his 3rd session of docetaxel out of 6 as well as been given hormone implant and he is a very laid back person so can never get anything out of him about how he is feeling etc.
Has anybody got any advice on what to expect in the coming weeks as he finishes his first session of chemo? And how are people finding not being able to be in with the doctors for appts?
I have been face timing with the consultant and dad when he goes in for his appts so I can write down anything everything and keep records.
Sorry to go on abit its the first time in 5 months I've been able to vent a little!
Thanks everybody for any advice you can give
Hi ,
Sorry to hear about your father but no you do not sound selfish at all - just struggling like many on here. I know for me work felt like moving in to something safe and normal where I felt I had some degree of control - my wfie's cancer not so much.
Things took me a while - and some help - to realize I needed to cut out a little time for me - after a fairly serious bout of anxiety my GP prescribed eco-therapy for me - I asked "you what" and he explained how going for a walk especially among trees can be effective and he was unhappy to try anti-depressants since I was on more that enough drugs already.
Mostly chemo effects go fairly quickly though some can be longer lasting and of course some might end up being longer term and might need fixed themselves - though that is usually doable too.
Well done on supporting your dad, I am sure he appreciates it and that taking notes bit is generally very helpful.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Thanks Steve!
Hope everything is going well with your wife's cancer 
I do try to take my dog for walks most days after work and before seeing dad to get a little me time and really helps to be honest!
Just the unknown of what to expect! We know he is incurable but don't have an idea of time or likelihood of success for his treatment etc but I'm sure there are thousands in the same boat!
Biggest thing we struggle with atm is approaching the 'how long do we have' issue with my dad and talking about it as I don't think he's ready yet to have the conversation, but are you ever?!
Thanks for the response I really appreciate it just a waiting game at this stage I suppose.
Janice never wanted to know "how long" and I really struggled with that at first. Her cancer is a rare one though and so I have come to learn there would have been little point asking the oncologist to take a guess.
Sometimes there are good reasons for knowing how long, especially if the time is fairly short when things might be put in place quickly to support everyone. For many however it can turn out to be something of a time bomb. Many people outlive their prognosis but sometimes people it seems can almost die to order. Janice has been outstanding she almost seems indestructible considering the things she has come through.
Nobody knows what tomorrow holds but as has been said “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
<<hugs>>
Steve
