Hey everyone
I’m new here. My Dad is my absolute world and our lives have been well and truly rocked
he’s been suffering with back pain for a long time and has been to the drs over the last 18 months with them just telling him to take pain killers
it got worse and worse to the point I called an ambulance when his legs went numb
they found a tumour in his spine secondary from lung cancer
his diagnosis was metastic lung cancer it’s also in his liver and clavicle nodes
prior to this he was doing Pilates every day walked his dog twice a day and was working selling heavy pine garden furniture up to last year lifting it in his own
he is the man who would do anything for anyone and would give his right arm for me and my kids
im truly lucky that lockdown closed my salon so I can be here living with him and caring for him I’ve had no outside support so sometimes wonder if I’m doing ok?
they said three months in December and he has been so inspiring even still whilst his legs are so weak he will not give in to a hospital bed downstairs and climbs his way up to bed every night even though it nearly breaks him
his personality is changing he has not much interest in the family or chatting and Ofcourse I understand this but it’s such an a notional rollercoaster as let’s face it we’re almost waiting for him to die even though it’s not what you want you can’t help but know it’s coming
how do I cope? The man I adore is wasting away and doing it so bravely he never moans yes he might be snappy sometimes but that’s ok
anyway I’m rambling and I don’t even know why I’m here I guess I just needed to get it out to people who might understand how I feel
my life hasn’t even been thought of I haven’t been home for two months or to my salon or done anything for me because it’s all about him at the moment and making him as happy and comfortable as I can but I also feel lost and well I really don’t know
sorry for going on x
