My mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last year and was told without treatment she would have a matter of months.
Chemotherapy didn't suit her and she has had no treatment since December. The past few weeks have been a downward spiral and mum is becoming very agitated and restless. She can't have a coherent conversation and is very confused about what is going on around her.
I care for a job. However it is always different when it's a loved one. Macmillan nurses haven't been able to come to see her due to covid and have had several phone calls with her where she has always said that she is fine, when she isn't.
She expressed to me last night that she thinks she is going to go soon and has started to refuse medications, food and fluids. However whilst she is expressing pain to be she is telling the district nurses she is fine so they won't administer any end of life meds.
Its breaking my heart to see her suffer the way she is and I was wondering if there was anything I could possibly do to help her?
Hi
So sorry to hear about your mum, what she is going through and how it is affecting you both.
I wonder if it is possible your mum is somehow wanting to take the worry away from you and might think that by not talking to the nurses she is helping to bring an earlier end to your pain. There is a concern in general at the moment that people do not want to be a burden to the NHS and I wonder if that could have an impact on your mum too.
Perhaps if you spoke to the district nurses they might be able to work with your mother to explain that without fluids she is likely to become really ill and if that happens she would likely end up being admitted to hospital, that does of course require her to be coherent with the nurses - if she cannot do that you might need to step in as a advocate on her behalf.
It is a very difficult situation for you and you are so right there is a big difference between caring for someone as a job where we are typically part of a team and it being someone we love 24/7.
<<hugs>>
Steve
