Hey all. I feel a bit strange coming here as it feels self indulgent with what everyone is going through but long story short, my mum is disabled and my dad is her full time carer. I recently moved out but I help out a lot. Anyway, my dad had cancer (acral lentiginous melenoma) about 5 years ago and he’s waiting to find out if it’s back. Things aren’t looking good.
I don’t know how to cope. My mum needs full time care, so I’d have to move back in and during the pandemic paid carers are hard to get put into place and I’m so worried dad won’t have any treatment options.
Basically... how am I supposed to cope with these worries?
Gormygirl
Welcome to the forum, there is nothing wrong with a little self-indulgence, but saying that, this site is here for everyone who is being affected by cancer.
I am sorry to read that your Dad may have had his cancer return, although things are not looking good, it is, in my experience best to wait for the confirmation from the professionals as I have found that I have worried and suffered with anxiety when I should have been focussing on the day ahead.
Your Mum, as you say needs full time care, but there are options out there for all of us, some people find it difficult to care so intensively for others, whilst others need to continue to work, and are therefore not in a position to provide full time care. This is where Adult Social Care comes in, they can give you advise, guidance on next steps should they be needed.
Give your local council a call and ask that a social worker calls you back, Mum may already have an assigned social worker? even if you only gather some more knowledge as to what is available for Mum and maybe for Dad in the coming months.
Hold on to hope, Dad may be fine, or may need some treatment, but hopefully things will be more manageable once he gets his results
Lowe'
