Hi,
I'm new here. My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer with liver metastases just before Christmas. On 8th Jan, we were told they can't treat it, and so she will be under end of life/palliative care. She got home from hospital yesterday, under a home care package. I live about 25 miles from her, and will endeavour to visit daily, while caring for my 4 year old daughter too. My mum, thankfully, doesn't live alone but will be alone all day most days apart from carers coming 4x daily.
I am not even sure how to feel. I've joined this group following quite a big flood of tears as I don't know where to turn. Don't get me wrong, I have a fab support network (very lucky), but somehow feel people don't "get" it.
I guess I just hope to be able to have frank and open discussions with people who do understand how it feels.
Trying so hard to keep it together for my mum, to keep conversations normal but not hiding what's going on etc. She's a very strong lady, and to see her so physically frail is shocking. She is determined to fight this as far as she can, and for that, I want to be able to help her maintain this amazing attitude! She can barely move to get herself comfortable in her bed, yet her mental state remains this strong - it is astonishing and admirable to see.
I am sorry this is quite the essay, but it does feel good to just let it all out.
Thank you for reading.
hi and welcome to the community.
Sorry to hear about your mum and with your four year old daughter I can relate to many of the difficulties and that desire to be in the other place all the time.
I sometimes think my dad tried to keep me away a bit when my mum was ill because he would say you have my grandson to look after - still that is many years ago now.
People not "getting it" is really typical. People some times talk of cancer as a tsunami and I know in the early days with my wife's cancer I possibly got lost in thinking how would we manage without her and that helped to prevent me appreciating what we have.
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me - mindfulness provided me the ability to look at problems in a way that helped me deal with them step by step; breathing exercises were useful for relaxation but also when I begin to feel overwhelmed when the unexpected problems seem to be insurmountable - transcendental meditation though did not really do it for me.
Do post whenever you feel the need, it is why the community exists and for everyone who reaches out there are many who will be helped by our words and be comforted that they are "normal" - just as soon as anyone works out what normal means anyway.
<<hugs>>
Steve
