My mum got diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer the week before Christmas. I know coping is an up and down thing but how on earth do people sleep?
We are waiting for the oncologist appointment on Monday to tell us what treatment specifically is needed, but I feel stuck in a loop of what to do. I'm not local, my sisters have moved back home so they can care for her despite having careers, and i feel like I'm useless to the family because I can't afford to get time off work with my bottom feeder job of working in fast food. We have a temporary arrangement of me coming up for 3 days a week, but I'm not sure with how I can keep this up with my job in a pandemic.
I feel so out of loop. I feel like if I had been closer to home and been there when they got the diagnosis and not in a different county I could help more, know when my mum needs what and when.
To get to the gist of it all, I'm a person who loves sleep. Naps and early bedtimes totalling about 9+ hours of luxurious sleep. But now I'm lucky if I'm getting 6 hours and not waking up in the night. I'm so exhausted. Being without stable mental health in the first place doesn't help.
Anyone got any tips? Advice on how to destress and not feel the guilt of potentially not being there?
Hi ,
I have been there with sleeplessness and even approached my GP to see if I could get a short course of sleeping tablets. However because of my own health issues he was reluctant to even go that route and instead suggested eco-therapy.
My initial response was "eh?" and he explained mostly it was about getting out for a walk - for preference somewhere in nature with trees. ideally listing to the sounds of nature.
Another thing that had helped me is exercises in conscious breathing and there are quite a few relaxation tips you can see here.
I can relate a bit to your comments on your sisters, my brother and my sisters did perhaps much more to care for my parents in their latter years than I did but that was more down to location and luck rather than any grand plan. However the day I spent caring for my parents is a very precious memory to me. It is easy though for them to perhaps worry about you and feel they do not want to burden you - I know my dad was terrible at that as he help I had enough to cope with.
You might feel your work is not that valuable but I expect all the parents who rely on a trip to a fast food place as a treat would look at your job very differently. When I first started work it was in pot wash in a hotel kitchen.
<<hugs>>
Steve
