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Hello Mooche,

So sorry to read that your Mum is about to undertake her third round of chemo, it sounds very stressful for you. 

I had noticed that your post is currently unanswered and really wanted to let you know that there are people here, and there will be others along who have some experience of what it is you are going through.  The downward spiral that you mention is a very real feeling for many and it is difficult to know how to cope sometimes.

Can you share a little more as to Mum's condition, how long between chemotherapy rounds she has gone and if you feel you can, how you both coped over those last two times, I ask in the hope that this will give myself and others a greater understanding and be able to better support you during this extremely difficult time.

Thinking of you

Lowe'

Hi

It is very easy to get in a downward spiral - coming here I hope helps you as probably there are very few who cannot relate exactly to what you write.

I was helped immensely when I visited my local Maggies and just talked to a complete stranger about our situation; what really turned me around though was their living with less stress course. Perhaps the main element was the tips for living in the day - I was really good at looking at a really black future and asking myself how will I cope then and instead not coping now. Those situations never seemed quite as serious in reality that those I was worried about.

Breathing exercises were great for helping me cope with unexpected bad news - there were some things that came out of the blue - but they are also great for relaxing and helping to get a good nights sleep.

Transcendental mediation though - well it does not really seem to be my thing - at least yet!.

Some really odd things helped too - an unexpected death for instance helped to remind me to appreciate what we have because tomorrow is only ever a promise.

One of the things I learnt the hard way was to remember to look after myself, some say carers need to get a little bit selfish as we do need some time to recharge so we can be there when we are really needed.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Lowe

Thanks for your response. Yes I am happy to share more information. My mum was first treated in 2015 and then again in 2018 and now this time she just got about 18 months between treatments. The doctors keep saying they have lots more treatments to try but I cant help but notice that the time between rounds shortens each time. 

Mum is incredibly strong but this time round I feel she's losing hope a bit too. I think the goal is to be able to meet her first grandchild due in April thus year which is something positive to look forward too.

I'm struggling this time round because I'm trying to study my physiotherapy degree at the same time and I know as soon as chemotherapy starts its going to be a challenge to keep up with university work and to manage the emotions that come with watching your loved ones go through treatment.  Some days I just want to stay in bed and others I just feel an overwhelming burden by the whole thing. 

Its so nice to hear from others going through the same thing so thank you for your support 

:)

Hi Steve 

I did do an online mindfulness course during lockdown number 1 so maybe I will try to do a daily 10 min meditation to try to set a positive outlook for the day...

I have used sport and exercise massively to get through my mums cancer journey, probably more than I realised. I joined an athletics club when my mum first got ill and it became like an anchor in my life and gave me some much needed time to myself and a place where cancer didnt cross my mind. Sadly due to a number of ongoing injuries over the last couple of years training hasnt bought me the pleasure it used too particularly these last few weeks 

I agree that in current times it really is important to appreciate what you have and to take pleasure in each day as if it was your last