Hello Everyone
I am new to the Macmillan online community, and to dealing with cancer. My mum is due to go to a diagnosis meeting tomorrow, after 7 long, dark, torturous weeks. After extensive tests – X-ray, CT, PET, EBUS and MRI, we know that she has a tumour on her right lung and a spot on her spine. I have read some of the posts within this group and I did feel unsure about posting because I know there are people who are dealing with far more complex issues than mine, but I’m trying ever so hard not to feel so bereft at this point because we don’t really have any concrete answers. I am trying to stay upbeat, and along with my amazing husband, focusing on my mum and dad and helping them to stay upbeat, although understandably they feel anxious, confused and scared.
I have read so much around the subject of lung cancer, positive case studies, and patient stories and have tried to ignore the stats because I know that everyone is an individual and responds to treatment differently. I am just so scared. Am I being realistic to think that my mum can live with this awful thing if it is incurable? It is strange how I have gone from hoping that it is not cancer, to hoping that it can be cured, to praying that it is incurable and not terminal. The doctors have said in a roundabout way that what they have found on her spine can be treated with radiotherapy, but will not say anything else until the meeting tomorrow. Is this usual? My mum has jumped to the conclusion that this will be because it is terminal. I have reasoned with her that this is not the case, it will be because diagnosis is complicated and treatment will be nuanced. But is this being naive?
I hope it’s ok for me to ask these questions. I know that there are no certain answers but any advice or words of wisdom will be so appreciated.
Hi @nmar1 and welcome to the community. Sorry you and you mother are going through this at the moment we can all remember the challenging time getting through a diagnosis and then to any kind of treatment plan can be and it sounds like you are doing a great job - but it is hard. The best bet we can all do it to take things one day at a time.
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me to realise that with the best will in the world we cannot predict the future with any real degree of certainty.
<hugs>>
Steve
