Near the end for my mum

I should also add that I live over 60 miles away so it's tricky just popping home. 

Hi there.! Just a message to say I hear you and acknowledge your pain and your dilemma. First of all remember that you are doing an amazing job by being with your mum, it isn't easy watching someone you love in theulir final days. 

Is there anyone else who can step in to give you Christmas day with your family, or is there any way they could come to your mums house? Perhaps a chat to the doctors and nurses may give you some ideas, Macmillan are great to speak to on the phone. I'm also sure other people on this forum will give you suggestions and help you with their own experiences. I hope and pray you find a solution, please don't stress, you are doing your best for those you love x

Hi thank you both for your replies. 

There is honestly no one. I have no siblings, aunts ,uncles etc. 

I have spoken to the hospice and district nurses and they have no services like that. The most they can offer is 3 hours ( a round trip can take 3 hours depending on traffic)  they cannot come down here as my mum lives in a one bed flat so literally no room. 

I promised her that she wouldn't go into a hospice or hospital as she really didn't want that.  

But the thought of not spending time with them on Christmas day is terrible. 

I know in the grand scheme of things it's one day and it shouldn't matter but for some silly reason it does. 

It's the first Christmas they will not have spent with their nanna so to be withought me too. Seems so hard. 

Hi there, I don't know what to say! Would there be any more chance of getting more help on boxing day so you could have a belated Christmas? It's not the same I know. Is there a Maggie centre that could give you advice, perhaps they know of people who can help. Clutching at straws I know. It's so hard, I think you may just have to do what your heart tells you,. Hoping others 9n this site can give some inspiration. Thinking of you, I do understand, love pam xx

I feel for you. You are so torn. What about other agencies? Or could you pay for a private agency nurse for a few hours? I guess you are also frightened of leaving mum. I wish I had the answer for you. I hope you find a solution x

And on we go. 

Mum is still hanging on. They have upped her morphine now. She is having trouble swallowing but has oral thrush so that could be the reason? She hasn't eaten in 14 days now and the hospice nurse said the minimal water she is drinking isn't much (less than 200 ml a day) she is sleeping all day only awake for maybe 5 min 4 times a day. Her speech is slurred and sometimes confused but she mostly seems altogether there. She has said how tired she is and fed up. 

It's amazing how long the body can last with no nutrients. 

I have a meeting with a carer today to see if they can look after my mum for 24 hrs over Christmas Eve/ Christmas day. I am hoping we all suit each other if you know what I mean. Not sure on the costs yet. 

I face timed my children last night, was lovely to see them but they are both upset. My son is upset that I am going to miss the 3d star wars screening we booked and my daughter was just upset as that's what she does. FX I will get to see them on Sunday, as my husband is bringing them down to me. 

He is very stressed as well, realising what I do on a day by day basis  but we just have to get on with it. 

So I met with the carer and agency and the cost is £600. Which a I haven't got and b I just cannot afford.

Have you tried Marie Curie is there one near you ? They sometimes have night sitters .Or could your family book into a travel lodge near your mum and  come round on Christmas day to spend the day with you and your mum .How old are the children is it too upsetting for them to see their Nanna like it ? .Would she be aware she was in the hospice if you could get her in .The only other thought are any of your family ex military as S.S.A.F.A is an organisation that can help ex military and their family in times of need .So sorry for your troubles wish there was more I could do .Thinking of you .

Thank you granny sue for the advice. 

They can't really stay here as we have my husband's family round Christmas day. We organised it as we thought it would be good for the kids to have lots of people round. 

Definitely not ex military in the family. I did speak to Marie curie they will only do 10pm - 7 am and the kids will be asleep then. They also can't say for definite if they have anyone. 

It all seems very pointless at the moment. 

I know people are in a lot harder situations but this just seems to be the final straw. 

If you know what I mean.